Meet the Superstud!

I'm writing in response to the column about Lory, the sexually frustrated woman from the March 1 issue [Dategirl, "Happy 301st Column!"]. She claims to have an unusually high libido and she's 37. Isn't that a woman's sexual prime?

I also have an unusually high libido and lots of stamina. Men are in their sexual prime from age 18 to 21, but I'm 35 and have never come down from it. I can last at least an hour before I become tired and shoot my load. Afterwards, I'm ready for round two!

I'm not kinky or a nympho, nor is there anything medically wrong with me. I conditioned myself to allow myself to last longer while I masturbated when I was a young man.

I've never found a woman who can outlast me. I've been with about two dozen women since I was 14, and not one could outlast me. I'm well-hung, but not supersized, and have always been able to send a woman into multiple orgasms—even the ones who have claimed never to have had one. My sex drive is as strong as it was at 18, but instead of being young, dumb, and full of cum, I'm older, wiser, and more sensitive to a woman's needs.

I've learned not to get lost in the "Bermuda Triangle." Women sometimes forget that their pussy is the most powerful force in the universe. Not only is it the start of life itself, but it's also the reason the world is a mess in more ways than one. You see, women can make men do many stupid things. And that's why the world is so screwed up—because of all the stupid things men do to try and get some pussy. Wars have been started over pussy.

What I'm wondering about Lory is whether she's a big woman. I've heard that big women naturally have a stronger sex drive. I've heard this on talk shows, but they never say why that is or how big "big" is. Do you know?

I can handle a woman up to a size 20, but if she's bigger than that, I'll lose my libido for sure. If I found someone like Lory, I'd never have a desire to screw around. If we clicked in other ways besides sex, then I'd consider her a catch.

Mr. Sexually Frustrated

It is so good to know that whenever a horny-lady letter runs, I can count on at least five male readers to write in, volunteering to relieve her of her burden. You people are givers, I tell you! Unselfish givers, and for that, I salute you!

Now, getting back to your letter. I don't know where you got the idea that sex is an endurance sport. One hour of straight fucking is more than most women can bear. I had a boyfriend who could also go for hours, but that was a function of his whiskey intake and not remotely pleasant. There's only so much moisture in any gal's vagina, and after a while we're talking serious pain and chafing. For future reference, 20 minutes or so is enough for most women, so you might want to work on picking up the pace—and an economy size tube of lube, while you're at it.

I remember one friend telling me and some other girlfriends about her amazing luv-uh man who'd bang her for two hours straight and never once would he come. Though she thought it was fabulous, my other friends and I thought it sounded extremely un-fun. And it's not like she was talking to a bunch of Sunday-school teachers!

While I agree that, yes, sometimes men do stupid things in order to get laid, blaming wars on our ladyflowers is pushing it. George W. Bush did not invade Iraq in order to get anal offa the first lady. That maneuver was motivated by greed, vengeance, and a host of other reasons, none of them related to cooter. Oh, and women don't make men act like morons—we simply point and laugh as you do so.

Kidding! (A little, anyway.)

Lory did not include her dress size with her letter, so I'm not sure how big or small she is. I've never heard this theory about the larger the lady, the bigger her libido, but it sounds rather suspect to me.

Do you prefer marathon men or 20-minute men? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

 
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