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Articles by The Surly Gourmand
Tristan Devin doesn't need a damn phone booth.
An Open Letter to the Seattle Business Traveler
By The Surly Gourmand • June 7, 2011 12:00 am

On whether to get hammered at the hotel bar or brave an unfamiliar world.

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Before venturing out to the San Juans to check out Allium, I’d
Before venturing out to the San Juans to...
By The Surly Gourmand • June 2, 2011 12:00 am

Before venturing out to the San Juans to check out Allium, I’d repeatedly heard that Orcas Island is filled with…

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Cleo Petra is a Luksusowa fan.
First Call: Company Bar Is a Rat’s Problem
By The Surly Gourmand • April 5, 2011 12:00 am

Fine martinis cause White Center to rethink its nickname.

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So this is what it's like to eat inside a tomb.
Mummies, Crack, & Buddha Ruksa
By The Surly Gourmand • April 5, 2011 12:00 am

Who knew noodles and chicken could be so lethally delicious?

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The Very Special Episode about how the Judkins St. Cafe won the
The Very Special Episode about how the Judkins...
By The Surly Gourmand • March 31, 2011 12:00 am

The Very Special Episode about how the Judkins St. Cafe won the Great Chili Cookoff won several Emmy Awards in…

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Unusual manicure, peculiar cocktail.
First Call: Blueberry Vodka, Two Ways
By The Surly Gourmand • March 15, 2011 12:00 am

Unusual drinks-and manicures-at Room 38.

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“Now is the pizza of our discontent.” Big Mario’s mascot, a life-size
“Now is the pizza of our discontent.” Big...
By The Surly Gourmand • February 23, 2011 12:00 am

“Now is the pizza of our discontent.” Big Mario’s mascot, a life-size photo of a 1970s dude wearing a white…

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“I’m such a Foodo Dirkschneider I just HAD to have the brushed
“I’m such a Foodo Dirkschneider I just HAD...
By The Surly Gourmand • February 16, 2011 12:00 am

“I’m such a Foodo Dirkschneider I just HAD to have the brushed copper Kitchenaid mixer!”Everyone knows that portmanteaus are so…

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Julie: last seen in Burien.
First Call: The Rolling Log Is the Original...
By The Surly Gourmand • February 15, 2011 12:00 am

Paranormal beer and olives in Old Town Issaquah.

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Duck meatballs so good it’ll make you stick your dick in here.Many
Duck meatballs so good it’ll make you stick...
By The Surly Gourmand • February 9, 2011 12:00 am

Duck meatballs so good it’ll make you stick your dick in here.Many things about Hawaii are beyond remarkable. Hawaii has…

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Julie poses with her favorite drink, the “Rain- tini.” A ghost dented
Julie poses with her favorite drink, the “Rain-...
By The Surly Gourmand • February 3, 2011 12:00 am

Julie poses with her favorite drink, the “Rain- tini.” A ghost dented the Rainier can. The Watering Hole: Rolling Log…

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A true auteur such as Steven Spielberg understands the rigorous attention to
A true auteur such as Steven Spielberg understands...
By The Surly Gourmand • January 28, 2011 12:00 am

A true auteur such as Steven Spielberg understands the rigorous attention to detail that’s needed in order to get people…

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Happy Halloween!
First Call: Elmer’s Irish Car Mom
By The Surly Gourmand • January 18, 2011 12:00 am

Every day is Halloween at this friendly Burien dive.

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Burien, the Ultimate Suburb
Burien, the Ultimate Suburb
By The Surly Gourmand • January 18, 2011 12:00 am

Only caterpillars have managed to derail West Seattle’s nicest neighbor.

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La Bête owners Aleks Dimitrijevic (left) and Tyler Moritz make bread pudding that defies the odds.
La Bete Puts the B in Superb
By The Surly Gourmand • January 11, 2011 12:00 am

Chez Gaudy’s successor is SUPER BADASS!

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If you like to make sure people hear you talking about this
If you like to make sure people hear...
By The Surly Gourmand • December 30, 2010 12:00 am

If you like to make sure people hear you talking about this guy, you’ll LOVE overpronouncing the word “pho!”Everybody loves…

Read Story

Which one got better grades at Yale?The holidays are upon us, but
Which one got better grades at Yale?The holidays...
By The Surly Gourmand • December 22, 2010 12:00 am

Which one got better grades at Yale?The holidays are upon us, but unless your uncle is Grant Achatz, you probably…

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At a dollar a shot, Tug patrons Dora (left) and Elizabeth Young can buy round after round—for the entire house.
The Jell-O Shot Revolution
By The Surly Gourmand • December 14, 2010 12:00 am

A mutant sorority-girl favorite steals Seattle’s heart.

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Here is an order of yam fries. Not pictured: the Ugandan UPS
Here is an order of yam fries. Not...
By The Surly Gourmand • December 9, 2010 12:00 am

Here is an order of yam fries. Not pictured: the Ugandan UPS delivery driver. Bent Burger occupies this weird angular…

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Doesn’t know shit about tablescapes.I was originally going to write a scathing
Doesn’t know shit about tablescapes.I was originally going...
By The Surly Gourmand • December 2, 2010 12:00 am

Doesn’t know shit about tablescapes.I was originally going to write a scathing commentary about how bad Sandra Lee sucks, but…

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Just another day at the idyllic, pastoral Kurtwood Farms.Sometimes when you’re stressed,
Just another day at the idyllic, pastoral Kurtwood...
By The Surly Gourmand • November 24, 2010 12:00 am

Just another day at the idyllic, pastoral Kurtwood Farms.Sometimes when you’re stressed, you just want to slow down and imagine…

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The Ruby Slipper: a "pearlescent lemony color."
Mac’s Triangle Stocks Enough PBR Tallboys to Drown...
By The Surly Gourmand • November 23, 2010 12:00 am

Bee the bartender mixes it up in White Center.

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Bernard Loiseau sez: “This is how many times Vatel stabbed himself! I
Bernard Loiseau sez: “This is how many times...
By The Surly Gourmand • November 18, 2010 12:00 am

Bernard Loiseau sez: “This is how many times Vatel stabbed himself! I wish I could be as hard- core. I’ll…

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