Best Budtender
(tie) Jordan Zenisek, Jay Berger Read Casey Jaywork’s report on what, exactly, makes a great budtender. First Runner-Up: Colin Russo at Hashtag
Best Cannabis Strain
Acapulco Gold from Far West Cannabis Called one of the greatest strains of all time by High Times, Acapulco Gold was the gold standard for pot back in your pop’s heyday. Named for its color and renowned for its potency at the time, it was so popular by the 1970s that dealers flew it out of Austin to college students at Columbia University, and Saturday Night Live used it in a joke. If you’re looking for a mind-sagging blast to the past, roll up a fattie of Acapulco Gold, put on the Beatles, and reflect on stagflation between puffs. First Runner-Up: Fruity Pebbles from North Coast Second Runner-Up: Lime Skunk from Fire Bros
Best Edible Product
Cookies From Goodship Weed, it is known, gives one the munchies. BUT WHAT IF WEED IS ALSO THE MUNCHIE?!?! Goodship’s diabolical cookies—like that dastardly Turkish Delight the White Queen gives Edmund in that book about lion Jesus—will only lead you into a vicious cycle of consumption that feeds its own craving. If you value your life, if you care for your future and don’t want to become a mindless, appetitive zombie, stay away from these delicious pot cookies! Or at least practice moderation. First Runner-Up: Mr. Moxey’s Mints Second Runner-Up: ZootsRocks
Best Head Shop
Holy Smoke There’s nothing like a head shop with a good play on words as its name—and a lot of head shops practive clever wordplay. But Holy Smoke is a toke above the rest. Nestled in the nethers of Capitol Hill, its glass menagerie of bubblebongs and hype pipes is just the ember of burning Acapulco Gold you need to fill your long-stemmed Gandalf pipe, figuratively speaking. Known on the Hill for its broad array of hand-blown glassware, Holy Smoke is your one-stop not-pot shop for fragile pothead pottery. 1556 E. Olive Way, 323-4659. First Runner-Up: (tie) Wunderland, Sam’s Smokes
Best Cannabis Event
Dope Cup Potheads, pot talk, pot, a cup—what more could you ask for? How about video games, which formed a thematic base for 2017’s Dope Cup, held in April. If you’ve never gamed while stoned, maybe give it a try: The weed turns down the volume of sensory noise in your head and makes it easier to fully concentrate on a given stimulus, like jumping between moving platforms or gutting unsuspecting NPCs from behind with a machete. Headlined by the great Talib Kweli and featuring more than a dozen specific prize pot categories, Dope Cup 2017 was a night to remember. First Runner-Up: Dockside Cannabis Big Anniversary Party Second Runner-Up: Terpestival
Best Pot Shop
Dockside Cannabis The big secret behind Dockside Cannabis? There is no dock. Presumably so named to confuse federal drug agents about the location of this pot shop in the event of an attempted raid, Dockside Cannabis is located in SoDo and Shoreline beside automobile highways. The SoDo location is also a 10-minute walk from light rail (either the SoDo or Stadium stations). Convenient location, decent prices, a nice selection—what more can you ask for? Various locations. First Runner-Up: Fweedom Cannabis Second Runner-Up: Hashtag Cannabis
