Bret Michaels

Friday, May 8 and Saturday, May 9

Bret Michaels, the one-time singer of Poison, is my favorite celebrity freakshow. He's got that perfect combination of boundless vanity and an utter lack of self-awareness that prevents him from realizing what a joke he is, so he continues putting horrible publicity photos out into the world (like the one pictured here) and doing dopey things like releasing "Going Green Rocks" shirts and bags that show all the ladies you're a tough rock and roll man, but with a soft spot for the fuzzy wuzzies. I'm sure the guy's rolling in it. It'll be worth going to suffer through his new music just for the possibility of catching a glimpse of that Rock of Love bus filled with aging rocker chicks just aching for the chance to jock Bret Michaels' hair extension-wearing nuts. Totally worth $90. TOTALLY.

Fri., May 8, 8:30 p.m.; Sat., May 9, 8:30 p.m., 2009

 
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