The M.P.H.G.A.T.

You know the film, now take the test.

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL

directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones with Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin runs July 6-12 at Egyptian

NEW PRINT, remixed sound—what more do we need to say? Instead of learned critical exegesis to honor this 26th anniversary rerelease, we invite you, the reader, to take the Monty Python and the Holy Grail Aptitude Test. Here's the chance to prove your M.P.I.Q.

1. Of the following, which does the French castle guard not threaten to do?

a. Wave my private parts at you

b. Unplug my nose at you

c. Upchuck Spam at you

d. Burst my pimples at you

2. Who designed the moose costumes?

a. Terry Jones

b. Siggi Churchill

c. Terry Gilliam

d. Lou Pinella

3. Which of these roles does Eric Idle play?

a. Arthur's trusty turban, Patsy

b. The great poofta of Warwick

c. The Scot git

d. Sweet Concorde

4. In Arthurian England, contemporary science held that:

a. The earth is shaped like a banana

b. Sheep's bladders can be used to detect witches

c. Rabbits are the Devil's chosen animal

d. Clubbing is a natural form of death

5. Who makes an appearance in the Dark Forest of Ewing?

a. The Lord

b. A man testing whether a sparrow can carry a coconut

c. The Black Knight

d. Dennis

6. Which of these is not among the bodily mutilations of which Sir Robin is unafraid?

a. Liver removed

b. Tongue carved out

c. Bowels unplugged

d. Nostrils raped

7. Which of these is a sacred word among the Knights who say Ni?

a. "Idiom"

b. "Five"

c. "Ping"

d. "Shrubbery"

8. Which piece of scripture is recited in the film?

a. Luke

b. The Book of Armaments

c. The Book of Interruptions

d. The Unbelievable Testament

9. Who gives "an eccentric performance"?

a. The Enchanter, Tim

b. The French guard

c. The moose

d. Roger the Shrubber

10. Where were Robin's minstrels eaten?

a. Upper Saxony

b. Stratford-on-Avon

c. Badon Hill

d. The frozen land of Nador

11. Extra credit question: If you purchased the LP soundtrack to the film, you received:

a. The unexpurgated edition

b. The executive version

c. The director's cut

d. The crass-attempt-to-resell-the-same-material edition

SCORING 9 to 11 questions answered correctly: You are an incorrigible Python geek and should see Holy Grail again for the 4,071th time. (Attend all 26 shows this week if you must.) 5 to 8 answers correct: You have a dim familiarity with the film, one that could stand some refreshing. Take more careful notes this time. 0 to 4 answers correct: You are dismally ignorant of this defining cinematic work of the 21st century. If you hope to receive any help from the guys in tech support this summer, you had better go see the movie immediately.

mfefer@seattleweekly.com

1. c; 2. b; 3. d; 4. a; 5. d; 6. b; 7. c; 8. b; 9. a; 10. d. Extra credit: b.

 
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