Gemini (May 21-June 20) You deserve to treat yourself! You earned all that you’ve got coming to you, at least in theory. If I were you, though, I’d wait to celebrate until your plans have actually come to fruition. There’s no better way to jinx something than by making a big deal about it before it’s actually happened. Go ahead and make a list of all the stuff you’re going to do once everything’s come together—then be patient. It’ll almost certainly unfold as you’ve planned, but there’s no harm in waiting until it does before you pop open the champagne. Cancer (June 21-July 22) Even if you think your advice will fall on deaf ears or your offer of assistance will be ignored, you shouldn’t withhold them. Censoring yourself because of the reaction you imagine isn’t helping anyone, including yourself. You’re probably right about what’s going to happen—but you’ll never really know until you try. This isn’t about your ego or potentially hurt feelings, it’s about someone who needs something you’re able to, and should, offer them. Steel yourself for the rejection or negative reaction you’re dreading, then be kind enough to put yourself out there anyway. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) It always comes back to the golden rule regarding treating others as you’d like to be treated. Your intentions are there, but it’s sometimes challenging for Lions truly to put themselves in someone else’s shoes (in the moment, anyway), and follow through on this philosophy. Often conflicts, misunderstandings, or just plain screw-ups have happened because you didn’t grasp where the other person was coming from until long after the fact. Clearly it’s something you could stand to work on. Luckily this week you’ll have multiple opportunities to practice, so stay present and pay attention. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) The Rapture didn’t happen! I guess buying 2000 billboards nationwide to advertise the Second Coming is a way to get a lot of attention, but not necessarily results. May 21 came and went, and Harold Camping’s sick prediction that 200 million true believers would ascend to heaven while the rest of us would suffer and die from earthquake and famine never came true. Of course, most of us chuckled at the preposterous logic that led to his conclusion in the first place—but never forget that numerous people chose to believe, despite how ridiculous (and twisted) it was. Remember, not everyone is as rational as you; this week’s events should drive that point home, hard. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Surprisingly, lying to someone’s face “to be nice” is never a particularly good idea—yet people, particularly Libras, do it all the time. That’s not to say I expect you to suddenly become confrontational and start speaking your mind like one of those crazy Leos. You don’t have to tell someone you don’t like them. Just walk away, or keep things professional. What I want you to avoid doing is telling someone you like them when you really don’t, or similar lies. That’s just going to lead to messy, hurt feelings all around. You don’t need to be brutal—just be clear. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Your drive and focus are immense assets, but ironically they can stand in your way when they’re pointed in the “wrong” direction—that is, at things that ought to be lower priorities than some of the other stuff you’ve got going on. In your single-minded drive to achieve these goals, you let other, probably more important, tasks go uncompleted. This week you need to reorder your priority list, and it’s not something you’re likely to be able to do well on your own. Enlist the aid of someone wise who knows you well, and at least mostly trust their advice. That’s not likely to be easy for you, because it’ll mean letting some stuff go that you’d rather not. Try anyway.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Hey, slut! I mean that affectionately. But let’s face it; by the time most Sagittarians get around to settling down, they’ve been around the block a few times. That’s no big deal—or it shouldn’t be. It might prove to be a bit of an obstacle or source of insecurity for a potential partner, though. While it would be nice if they could just chill out, forget about your respective pasts, and focus on the present, that’s easier said than done. This problem has a very simple solution, though: Make the extra effort to reassure them that all your vast experience has only served to help you figure out what it is you really want—them. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) As frustrating as it might be to have someone worry about you needlessly, the worst thing you could do is respond to their concern with frustration or bitchiness. Remember, it’s only because they care, and “Care less” is not a request they can honor. It’s nice to have people give a shit about you. Their worries are of course unfounded and silly, but employing good-hearted humor will more successfully deflect their concerns or any potential follow-ups than a snappish comment ever could. Next time someone annoys you with their good intentions, crack a joke instead of biting off their head, OK? Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Let bygones be bygones. Once someone’s “done their time,” whatever that means in this particular situation, continuing to punish or penalize them in any way is just plain cruel. It’s time to really and truly let them off the hook, work through whatever feelings you may still have, and move on so they can too. If you can’t do that, get the hell out of the way. You’re allowed to have your feelings, of course, but you’re not allowed to keep inflicting them on others. That’s just not fair, and this week your deadline is up. Time to let go or back off. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Sure, there’s a lot of bullshit out there. But if we’re honest with ourselves, much of our own unhappiness is a direct result of our (largely unconscious) efforts to sabotage a situation or see the negative things we “want” to see. Frequently it’s just a matter of not being present: You don’t trust this new (actually trustworthy) person because someone else burned you in the past; consequently you set up a whole lame cycle of distrust and suspicion based on nothing but a memory involving someone else! That’s some unnecessary misery right there. This week, you may have a few chances to undo or circumvent bad habits like these. Seize them. Aries (March 21-April 19) Many people have met friends, spouses, and one-night lovers online. But living your life through a computer screen can get rather isolating, especially for you Rams. Get out of the house as much as possible this week. Throw yourself into a variety of activities interacting with many different people. This is about plunging into the unknown, getting some much-needed adventure. Some of it might turn out to be lame. That’s a risk. Some of it might be great, though. Regardless, you need a dose of real life, and a chance to meet people face to face before you find out their proclivities and measurements, or reveal yours. Taurus (April 20-May 20) While it’s OK occasionally to humor someone who sees the world in a distorted way, and even try to help them, getting caught up in their delusions is a very bad idea. Beware of buying into any part of their baggage this week. They may even demand it, but this is when keeping your Taurean feet firmly planted on solid ground will work to your advantage—luckily, a strength of yours. Most people are reasonable and logical, but everyone has a blind spot or two. This week, helping someone navigate out of theirs might be a role that only you can play. sign.language.astrology@gmail.com