Seattle pedestrians are tired of the same old pervs masturbating in the same old way for everyone to see. Why can’t people be more creative? Why can’t they be more like Jon P. Dupuy? I mean, he allegedly used a simple table and desk lamp to completely revolutionize the art of indecent exposure. It’s called “highlighting,” and I’ll tell you about it after the jump.This from today’s P-I

story about charges against 60-year-old Jon P. Dupuy of Wallingford. A hat tip to Seattle Detective Kyle Kizzier for the phrase “highlight the suspect’s genital region.”Highlighting in Six Easy StepsStep 1: Arrange a table capable of supporting the weight of a person in front of an open window.Step 2: Set up a lamp with a narrow light beam above the table and turn it on.Step 3: Turn out all the other lights in the house.Step 4: Lie down on the table in front of the window with your stomach up and the lamplight shining only on your crotch.Step 5: Remove clothes.Step 6: Masturbate.The effect to those outside–if done with a dark-enough house and a close-enough lamp–will be that of a mysterious penis arousing itself with a disembodied hand.Whose penis is it? Nobody knows. Whose hand is it? Could be anyone’s. The riddle will continue to perplex passersby long after they’ve gone home to phone the police.