From the desk of Aaron Pickus: “Please join Mayor Mike McGinn. . . for an announcement about a new plan benefiting prime contractors, small women and minority owned businesses and the community at large.”Apparently with all the weight he’s lost, McGinn is suddenly anti-large women.Here are a few of the proposals to be unveiled. 1. City-subsidized office refrigerators (energy-efficient, of course) with floor-door freezers, so small women can cool their Lean Cuisines without the aid of a step stool or a taller co-worker.

2. Separate five-foot-and-under bike lanes in addition to “regular” bike lanes, thus dieting roads down to the point where they’re all one-way. 3. A new partnership between the city and Regional Animal Services of King County, in which women 5 feet and under get half-off adoption fees on all purebred mastiffs, Great Danes, and St. Bernards.4. A voucher program for small women to rent small Segways, thus enabling them to keep up with their larger cohorts.5. Immediate suspension of the contract between the Seattle Storm and KeyArena until they agree to sign at least one player to the roster who’s under five feet tall.Follow The Daily Weekly on Facebook and Twitter.