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    Articles by The Surly Gourmand
    Bee serves up her signiture drink, the “Ruby Slipper,” to scores of
    Bee serves up her signiture drink, the “Ruby...
    By The Surly Gourmand • November 11, 2010 12:00 am

    Bee serves up her signiture drink, the “Ruby Slipper,” to scores of scruffy motherfuckers every night at Mac’s Triangle Pub!The…

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    Four Loko: Dan Brown’s chosen elixir.I should’ve known not to go anywhere
    Four Loko: Dan Brown’s chosen elixir.I should’ve known...
    By The Surly Gourmand • October 28, 2010 12:00 am

    Four Loko: Dan Brown’s chosen elixir.I should’ve known not to go anywhere near Four Loko the moment I tried to…

    Read Story

    Where Ya At Matt is definitely better than this silly portrait of
    Where Ya At Matt is definitely better than...
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 31, 2010 12:00 am

    Where Ya At Matt is definitely better than this silly portrait of Immanuel Kant. Probably tastier, too.I know this is…

    Read Story

    Brad TrentWriting about food is as simple as roasting a pig!Have you
    Brad TrentWriting about food is as simple as...
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 24, 2010 12:00 am

    Brad TrentWriting about food is as simple as roasting a pig!Have you ever wanted to write for the Seattle Weekly?…

    Read Story

    Famed British heavy metal singer Secret Squirrel belts out his classic hit,
    Famed British heavy metal singer Secret Squirrel belts...
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 19, 2010 12:00 am

    Famed British heavy metal singer Secret Squirrel belts out his classic hit, “Hellbent for Leather.”There are manly pizza toppings and…

    Read Story

    Arthur doubles as a jukebox bouncer.
    First Call: Jell-O-Boy!
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 17, 2010 12:00 am

    No mojito can trump the Tug’s shots.

    Read Story

    This is Piranha Joe’s namesake: the MOST EVIL fish in the world!
    This is Piranha Joe’s namesake: the MOST EVIL...
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 17, 2010 12:00 am

    This is Piranha Joe’s namesake: the MOST EVIL fish in the world! Piranha Joe’s appeals to the kind of lackadaisical…

    Read Story

    You can expect most vegan cooking to look like it’s been frosted
    You can expect most vegan cooking to look...
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 10, 2010 12:00 am

    You can expect most vegan cooking to look like it’s been frosted with dog shit, just like this cupcake. Moonlight…

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    I’m as sorry as this dog felt, mere seconds after he eviscerated
    I’m as sorry as this dog felt, mere...
    By The Surly Gourmand • August 3, 2010 12:00 am

    I’m as sorry as this dog felt, mere seconds after he eviscerated an infant.I have to admit something to everybody…

    Read Story

    All Hail Delicatus! And his faithful hound, Deli Dog!Surly Notes: Hey guys,
    All Hail Delicatus! And his faithful hound, Deli...
    By The Surly Gourmand • July 29, 2010 12:00 am

    All Hail Delicatus! And his faithful hound, Deli Dog!Surly Notes: Hey guys, I didn’t TECHNICALLY write this entry this week….

    Read Story

    These ribs are surprisingly spicy, just like your mom! Ventana is tasty,
    These ribs are surprisingly spicy, just like your...
    By The Surly Gourmand • July 27, 2010 12:00 am

    These ribs are surprisingly spicy, just like your mom! Ventana is tasty, but it might be too avant-garde, like a…

    Read Story

    Hoyt Axton sez: “Eat at Geraldine’s now, because tomorrow you could be
    Hoyt Axton sez: “Eat at Geraldine’s now, because...
    By The Surly Gourmand • July 21, 2010 12:00 am

    Hoyt Axton sez: “Eat at Geraldine’s now, because tomorrow you could be dead like me!” Gee, Hoyt Axton, you sure…

    Read Story

    I will kill this cuddly puppy if you don’t eat at Naam
    I will kill this cuddly puppy if you...
    By The Surly Gourmand • July 7, 2010 12:00 am

    I will kill this cuddly puppy if you don’t eat at Naam Thai (picture may not resemble actual puppy killed).Allow…

    Read Story

    Check out this delicious profiterole!One of the problems with Eness is that
    Check out this delicious profiterole!One of the problems...
    By The Surly Gourmand • July 2, 2010 12:00 am

    Check out this delicious profiterole!One of the problems with Eness is that they pronounce it like “penis,” or like the…

    Read Story

    Victory Lounge has a totally bitchin’ sign.I used to regularly hang out
    Victory Lounge has a totally bitchin’ sign.I used...
    By The Surly Gourmand • June 24, 2010 12:00 am

    Victory Lounge has a totally bitchin’ sign.I used to regularly hang out at the Victory Lounge when it was formerly…

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    If you try to eat at Marjorie with no reservation, you’ll feel
    If you try to eat at Marjorie with...
    By The Surly Gourmand • June 16, 2010 12:00 am

    If you try to eat at Marjorie with no reservation, you’ll feel as sad as you felt when you got…

    Read Story

    Luc’s list of Founding Diners includes august luminaries such as Garfield, Mr.
    Luc’s list of Founding Diners includes august luminaries...
    By The Surly Gourmand • June 11, 2010 12:00 am

    Luc’s list of Founding Diners includes august luminaries such as Garfield, Mr. Belvedere, the Weird Tibetan Guy who Pissed on…

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    Delicious mashed potatoes are visible on the bottom right of the plate.
    Delicious mashed potatoes are visible on the bottom...
    By The Surly Gourmand • June 9, 2010 12:00 am

    Delicious mashed potatoes are visible on the bottom right of the plate. Not pictured: the crippling depression you suffer when…

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    Eating these grilled yams is like throwing a delicious discus in the
    Eating these grilled yams is like throwing a...
    By The Surly Gourmand • June 4, 2010 12:00 am

    Eating these grilled yams is like throwing a delicious discus in the culinary Summer Olympics. You’ll win the gold medal…

    Read Story

    I’m sorry, but I don’t think this map is to scale. Teddy’s
    I’m sorry, but I don’t think this map...
    By The Surly Gourmand • June 2, 2010 12:00 am

    I’m sorry, but I don’t think this map is to scale. Teddy’s Bigger Burgers makes a tasty hamburger: a quarter-pound…

    Read Story

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