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    Articles by Judy McGuire
    Just as Labor Day symbolizes the unofficial end of summer, so does
    Just as Labor Day symbolizes the unofficial end...
    By Judy McGuire • September 7, 2010 12:00 am

    Just as Labor Day symbolizes the unofficial end of summer, so does September’s arrival signal that Anal Pleasure Month (aka…

    Read Story

    Quit Making Yourself the Butt of the Joke
    Quit Making Yourself the Butt of the Joke
    By Judy McGuire • September 7, 2010 12:00 am

    (NOW: You can read Dategirl every day on the Daily Weekly!) Dear Dategirl, I’m 35 years old and can’t seem…

    Read Story

    In the case of Zsa Zsa Gabor and her shady husband, Frederic
    In the case of Zsa Zsa Gabor and...
    By Judy McGuire • September 2, 2010 12:00 am

    In the case of Zsa Zsa Gabor and her shady husband, Frederic Prinz von Anhalt, even death won’t be able…

    Read Story

    A Deal-Breaker of a Bachelor Party?
    A Deal-Breaker of a Bachelor Party?
    By Judy McGuire • August 31, 2010 12:00 am

    (NOW: You can read Dategirl every day on the Daily Weekly!)  Dear Dategirl, My fiancé and I are devout Christians,…

    Read Story

    When a non-believer joins a 12-step group, there’s generally one big obstacle
    When a non-believer joins a 12-step group, there’s...
    By Judy McGuire • August 27, 2010 12:00 am

    When a non-believer joins a 12-step group, there’s generally one big obstacle on their road to recovery: That’s the whole…

    Read Story

    I love the British. They’ve got those cute little accents and their
    I love the British. They’ve got those cute...
    By Judy McGuire • August 25, 2010 12:00 am

    I love the British. They’ve got those cute little accents and their porn is so odd. But their most endearing…

    Read Story

    Birds are often thought to be the upstanding moral members of the
    Birds are often thought to be the upstanding...
    By Judy McGuire • August 24, 2010 12:00 am

    Birds are often thought to be the upstanding moral members of the animal kingdom. Swans have a rep (false!) for…

    Read Story

    Who hasn’t drunkenly tumbled into bed with Brad Pitt and woken up
    Who hasn’t drunkenly tumbled into bed with Brad...
    By Judy McGuire • August 23, 2010 12:00 am

    Who hasn’t drunkenly tumbled into bed with Brad Pitt and woken up to Gilbert Gottfried? Or gotten busy with Megan…

    Read Story

    I was born via immaculate conception. As were my four brothers and
    I was born via immaculate conception. As were...
    By Judy McGuire • August 20, 2010 12:00 am

    I was born via immaculate conception. As were my four brothers and sister. My parents sprang, fully formed and married,…

    Read Story

    Do You Really Want to be Graced With His Wiener?
    Do You Really Want to be Graced With...
    By Judy McGuire • August 17, 2010 12:00 am

    (NOW: You can read Dategirl every day on the Daily Weekly!) Dear Dategirl, There’s this guy at work who’s super-cute…

    Read Story

    Ladies, remember how your mama always told you it was just as
    Ladies, remember how your mama always told you...
    By Judy McGuire • August 16, 2010 12:00 am

    Ladies, remember how your mama always told you it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich…

    Read Story

    Take back every mean thing you ever said about lawyers, because this
    Take back every mean thing you ever said...
    By Judy McGuire • August 11, 2010 12:00 am

    Take back every mean thing you ever said about lawyers, because this week, the American Bar Association came out in…

    Read Story

    Pull Your Angry Head Out of Your Ass
    Pull Your Angry Head Out of Your Ass
    By Judy McGuire • August 10, 2010 12:00 am

    (NOW: You can read Dategirl every day on the Daily Weekly!) Dear Dategirl, How the fuck do you get people…

    Read Story

    Ann Coulter is the human equivalent of a weeping, pus-filled sore located
    Ann Coulter is the human equivalent of a...
    By Judy McGuire • August 6, 2010 12:00 am

    Ann Coulter is the human equivalent of a weeping, pus-filled sore located deep in the diseased rectum of Adolf Hitler’s…

    Read Story

    Ever notice how that mousy coworker dresses just a little more oom-pow!
    Ever notice how that mousy coworker dresses just...
    By Judy McGuire • August 5, 2010 12:00 am

    Ever notice how that mousy coworker dresses just a little more oom-pow! during certain days of the month? Suddenly your…

    Read Story

    Do I Tell Her She's Too Fat to Fuck?
    Do I Tell Her She’s Too Fat to...
    By Judy McGuire • August 3, 2010 12:00 am

    Dear Dategirl: I don’t need women to look like your logo, but I do like a woman who’s fit and…

    Read Story

    Salon’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, is going through a shitty bout with
    Salon’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, is going through...
    By Judy McGuire • August 2, 2010 12:00 am

    Salon’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, is going through a shitty bout with cancer, and while I feel bad for him,…

    Read Story

    Which of the following items are included in the Ozzfest “Unholy Matrimony”
    Which of the following items are included in...
    By Judy McGuire • July 29, 2010 12:00 am

    Which of the following items are included in the Ozzfest “Unholy Matrimony” wedding package:A) Civil ceremony garbled by the Prince…

    Read Story

    Along with all the positive things that erectile-dysfunction drugs have done for
    Along with all the positive things that erectile-dysfunction...
    By Judy McGuire • July 28, 2010 12:00 am

    Along with all the positive things that erectile-dysfunction drugs have done for the sex lives of the formerly flaccid, they’ve…

    Read Story

    When to Tell Him the Babymaker's Broken
    When to Tell Him the Babymaker’s Broken
    By Judy McGuire • July 27, 2010 12:00 am

    Dear Dategirl, When I was very young, I had some medical issues that left me infertile. I’m OK now, but…

    Read Story

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