We’ve written previously on the never-say-die dinosaurs that are our liquor stores. Now Governor Gregoire and the Liquor Control Board want to open more of them, and let them sell more stuff. Proposed new items include “bar tools,” ice, and lottery tickets. We have a few more ideas that might help the state make the most of these subsidized, price-regulated, vice-pedaling-but-not-open-on-Sundays beasts.Many argue that state-run liquor stores should be in our rear-view mirrors. “It’s an antiquated system,” State Sen. Tim Potlatch told the P-I. Ironically, though, rear-view mirrors may be the key to a successful future for the stores. Here are a few products our state liquor stores should consider adding:-Fuzzy mirror dice-Refrigerator magnets-Vanity-plate key chains (Special partnership with DOL!)-Heat-lamp burritos-“I’m with Stupid” t-shirts (special compass arrow always points to Olympia)-Swisher Sweets-“12th Man” gear-Man gear (condoms)-Reader’s Digest-Hustler and Swank (wrapped in plastic, to prevent in-store reading, masturbating)-Chewing gum-Dale Earnhardt memorabilia-Jerky products (for protein)
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