JUNE3 WAIT WAIT . . . DON'T TELL ME! Host Peter Sagal and the avuncular Carl Kasell run the innovative quiz show based on NPR news. The Paramount, stgpresents.org.3 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: KOOZA See the Wire, Thursday. 3-6 BELLEVUE JAZZ FESTIVAL The Bad Plus, Pat Martino, and a host of great local groups. Downtown Bellevue. bellevuejazz.com.3-13 COPPÉLIA See the Wire, Thursday. McCaw Hall, pnb.org.4 FORBIDDEN FASHION SHOW Project Runway's Nick Verreos is the celebrity guest for this dress-to-impress event, featuring international swimwear, underwear, and lingerie. Fairmont Olympic Hotel.4 WARHOL IN L.A. In conjunction with the ongoing "love fear pleasure lust pain glamour death" show, Seattle U. professor Ken Allan talks about Andy's sojourn out West, where he met Marcel Duchamp, Dennis Hopper, and other Hollywood notables. (The SAM Remix party is also tonight.) Seattle Art Museum, seattleartmuseum.org.5 RAT CITY ROLLERGIRLS It's pretty much everything you'd expect: tough, raw, and most definitely entertaining. The season runs through October. KeyArena, ratcityrollergirls.com.5 BEAR AFFAIR AND BIG HOWL FOR WOLVES Educational activities teach families how to camp among, and live in harmony with, our state's growing bear population. Woodland Park Zoo, zoo.org.5 HAWAIIAN SLACK-KEY WITH JOHN KEAWE Keawe will display his mastery of the guitar, while his wife, Hope, performs traditional hula dances. Town Hall, townhallseattle.org.5–6 WORLD OCEAN WEEKEND Hundreds of animal exhibits, a talk from the new polar-bear keeper, and other hands-on events. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, pdza.org.9 STEPHIN MERRITT PERFORMS 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA The droll Magnetic Fields frontman sets music to the silent movie. The Paramount, stgpresents.org.9 SEATTLE WEEKLY HAPPY HOUR FOR HOPE A monthly party to help raise money and awareness for local nonprofits. June's beneficiary is Bumbershoot's Send-a-Kid program. Jillian's on South Lake Union, seattleweekly.com.9 ED SCHULTZ The popular progressive talk-radio host hits town. Town Hall, townhallseattle.org.11 REFLECTIONS: THE MARY WILSON SUPREME LEGACY PROJECT Costumes, photos, and other memorabilia pay tribute to The Supremes, Motown's first superstars. (Through Sept. 6.) Experience Music Project, empsfm.org.11 SEATTLE STORM VS. L.A. SPARKS The two West Coast rivals battle it out. KeyArena, wnba.com/storm. 11 THE LOVE MARKETS Nick Garrison and Angie Louise lead a celebration of Weimar-style cabaret, music, and triple entendres. ACT Theater, acttheatre.org.11 FREMONT 5K & BRIEFCASE RELAY You can run/walk solo, or join a five-person relay dressed in business attire. Adobe Plaza.11–13 NW PINBALL & GAMEROOM SHOW Stretch your thumbs and prepare for Seattle's ultimate gaming showdown. Northwest Rooms at Seattle Center, nwpinballshow.com.12 ANIMALS IN LITERATURE Garth Stein, author of the bestselling novel The Art of Racing in the Rain, tells how he gave voice to a dog. Tacoma Art Museum, tacomaartmuseum.org.12 SPIRIT WALK A day for families to learn about and support Native American programs. Seattle Center Mural Amphitheatre, sihb.org.12–13 FESTIVAL SUNDIATA African-American culture is celebrated with art, entertainment, and education. Seattle Center, seattlecenter.com.12 CIRCUS! SCIENCE UNDER THE BIG TOP Twenty activity stations teach kids how to perform acrobatics and other feats. Of course there are also educational explanations of the science behind all these tricks, too. (Through Sept. 6.) Pacific Science Center, pacsci.org.13 SHARE THE MUSIC An outdoor concert featuring some of the city's favorite purveyors of kid rock, including Caspar Babypants (Chris Ballew) and the Not Its! Freeway Park, kindiependent.com.13 BEACON ROCKS! Beacon Hill musicians play four evening concerts near the light-rail line through August 29. Beacon Hill Station, rockitspace.ning.com/page/beacon-rocks.18 THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES In Joanna Murray-Smith's satire, a leading feminist writer, suffering from writer's block, is held hostage by one of her former protégées. (Through July 18.) ACT Theater, acttheatre.org.18–20 CRYPTICON SEATTLE HORROR CONVENTION Because nothing's more terrifying than a convention in Everett! Everett Holiday Inn, crypticonseattle.com.18–20 WASHINGTON BREWERS FESTIVAL Come drink in Kenmore, with selections from more than 100 Washington state breweries. Those under 21 can participate in non-alcoholic games and events, too. Saint Edward State Park, washingtonbeer.com.19 IRANIAN FESTIVAL A day of family-oriented activities celebrating Persian culture. Seattle Center, iaca-seattle.org.19 WALK FOR RICE Enjoy a morning circuit around Seward Park, while raising money for the Asian Counseling and Referral Service Food Bank. Seward Park, walkforrice.org.19 STEVE MARTIN AND THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS Martin gets back to his banjo roots with a folksy group of five; buy your tickets early to this certain sellout. Chateau Ste. Michelle, ste-michelle.com.19–20 FREMONT FAIR A weekend to take hold of Fremont's motto: Delibertus Quirkus—"Freedom to Be Peculiar." Festivities will include the Solstice Parade, art cars, and naked bikers. Downtown Fremont, fremontartscouncil.org.19–20 BELL STREET PIER CLASSIC RENDEZVOUS More than 40 classic wooden vessels will be displayed and open for boarding. Bell Harbor Marina, classicyacht.org.22 ANTHONY BOURDAIN You know, the celebrity chef and food writer whom some people say our Jason Sheehan is a poor imitation of. See if you agree. Moore Theatre, stgpresents.org.22–24 SEATTLE MARINERS VS. CHICAGO CUBS The series marks the return of our beloved former manager, Lou Piniella. How could you boo? Safeco Field, seattle.mariners.mlb.com.24–26 TWISTED FLICKS Cheesy movies are shown without dialogue, which comics then ad-lib. Historic University Theater, jetcityimprov.com.24–27 SEATTLE SYMPHONY Gerard Schwarz closes the "Seattle Celebrates Bernstein" festival—and his penultimate season as SSO music director—with the composer's Age of Anxiety. Benaroya Hall, seattlesymphony.org.25 SAM'S PARTY IN THE PARK A 21-and-over party after dark, featuring bands, art, and booze. Don't hurl on the Calder! Olympic Sculpture Park, seattleartmuseum.org.25 AZIZ ANSARI Fresh from hosting the MTV Movie Awards, Ansari brings his stand-up comedy to town. Moore Theatre, stgpresents.org.26 CAPITOL HILL PRIDE FESTIVAL Featuring live entertainment from a diverse group of talents including Mark Finley, tribal belly-dancing, and Stingshark. Family-friendly daytime events—including a doggie-drag costume contest and face and body painting—last until 6 p.m., at which point the adult acts begin. Broadway from East John Street to Roy Street. capitolhillpridefestival.net.26 ARTOPIA Seattle Weekly's annual celebration of innovative art and music in Georgetown. Multiple locations and multiple beer gardens, too. artopiaseattle.com.26 FREMONT OUTDOOR MOVIES Twihards unite! Opening is Twilight: New Moon, with a sneak peek at Eclipse. (Through Aug. 21.) 3400 Phinney Ave. N., fremontoutdoormovies.com.26 BUMBERSHOOT DANCE PARTY Sam Rousso Soundsystem will spin popular tunes from Bumbershoot artists past and future. You, in turn, will dance. Lo-Fi Performance Space, bumbershoot.org26–27 SLUGFEST The best way to learn about them is to pretend to be them. Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, nwtrek.org.27 SEATTLE PRIDE PARADE AND PRIDEFEST This year's theme, "Over the Rainbow," is so obvious, it's hard to believe they haven't used it before. Seattle Center, seattlepridefest.org.28 BIKE-IN Bicycle enthusiasts unite to support two-wheeled transportation with an outdoor film screening and other free events, sponsored by Northwest Film Forum and the Vera Project. Cal Anderson Park, calandersonpark.org.30 TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE The New Orleans horn star, now getting some big exposure on HBO's Treme, brings his supafunkrock band to Seattle for a free midday concert, as part of the Downtown Seattle Association's "Out to Lunch" series. Occidental Park, downtownseattle.com.JULYJuly–Aug. SEAFAIR The month-long celebration features the Blue Angels, parades, hydroplane races, and sundry events on both sides of the lake. And did we mention the pirates? (Most events are free.) seafair.com.1 UMBRELLA FOR THE ARTS: 40 YEARS OF BUMBERSHOOT ARTWORK A retrospective exhibition covers the past 40 years of posters and artwork. Seattle City Hall (Lobby and Anne Focke Galleries), bumbershoot.org.2 RUINED Intiman's new artistic director, Kate Whoriskey, restages her 2009 critical hit about a Congolese brothel. (Through Aug. 8.) Intiman Theater. intiman.org.2–4 SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL BEERFEST More than a dozen countries are represented with over 150 beers. Seattle Center, seattlebeerfest.com.4 FAMILY FOURTH AT LAKE UNION The event that almost died when Ivar's pulled out. Luckily, a bunch of other folks, including Tom Douglas and maybe you, came to the rescue. Gasworks Park, family4th.org.4 NATURALIZATION CEREMONY More than 500 people from around the globe will be sworn in as new citizens at Fisher Pavilion. Yes, it'll make you cry. Seattle Center, ethnicheritagecouncil.org.5–30 SEATTLE CHAMBER MUSIC SOCIETY Four weeks of concerts (plus two more in Redmond, Aug. 4–13), with Barber, Brahms, and Debussy to open. Benaroya Hall, seattlechambermusic.org.6 SUMMER OUTDOOR MOVIES IN THE PARK Various kid-friendly movies will be shown free of charge through August 24. Also: a free criminal background check of your babysitter, courtesy of lead sponsor Intelius. (We kid.) Bellevue Downtown Park, intelius.com/summermovies. 7 LAFF HOLE CELEBRATES 40 YEARS OF BUMBERSHOOT The Peoples Republic of Komedy makes this edition of Laff Hole a commemoration of Bumbershoot. Chop Suey, bumbershoot.org.7–8 SEATTLE SYMPHONY "Bugs Bunny on Broadway" includes "What's Opera, Doc?" and other animated masterpieces, with live music. Benaroya Hall, seattlesymphony.org.8 MADCAP GENIUS: THE FILM COMEDY OF PRESTON STURGES The great American comedy director is honored with a retrospective. Christmas in July begins the series (through Aug. 12). Seattle Art Museum, seattleartmuseum.org.9–10 REDMOND DERBY DAYS It starts out as a family bicycle parade and ends up as a big downtown block party, with food booths, beer and wine gardens, and a fireworks finale. Redmond City Hall, redmond.gov/derbydays.9–11 WEST SEATTLE SUMMER FEST Free activities and food to help highlight some of West Seattle's hidden wonders. West Seattle Junction, westseattlefestival.com.10 MILK CARTON DERBY Nearly 100 boats compete for speed and prizes celebrating sheer eccentricity. (If your boat sinks, don't drink the water!) Green Lake, seafair.com.10 PIONEER SQUARE FIRE FESTIVAL In memory of the1889 Great Seattle Fire, antique fire engines and police cars will be on display, with activities and music for the kids. Occidental Avenue South and South Main Street, lastresortfd.org.10 AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF NUDE RECREATION WORLD-RECORD SKINNY DIP Attempting to break their own record of 186, and the national record of 13,648 participants, Fraternity Snoqualmie hopes to amass the biggest skinny-dipping group in America. Fraternity Snoqualmie Nudist Park, fraternitysnoqualmie.com.10–11 BASTILLE DAY Seattle Center remembers the French Revolution with French wine and pastries, cooking demos, music, and games for the kids. But no beheadings. Center House and Fisher Pavilion, Seattle Center, seattlecenter.com.10–11 CHINATOWN/INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT SUMMER FEST Celebrate Asian-American culture with food, crafts, and karaoke. Hing Hay Park, cidbia.org.10–11 BALLARD SEAFOODFEST With two stages of entertainment, a salmon barbecue, and beer and wine gardens, among tons of other activities scattered throughout Old Ballard. seafoodfest.org.12 ARTHUR BROOKS Raised in Seattle, he addresses what he believes to be our newest culture war: the dread specter of socialism! Town Hall, townhallseattle.org.14–18 KLA HA YA DAYS A carnival, parade, and car show help celebrate the historic logging town. Snohomish, klahayadays.com.16–18 BITE OF SEATTLE It's like Costco on a Sunday, but way, way better. With hundreds of samples of all different sorts of cuisines (from all different sorts of chefs), educated and freeloading foodies alike can gorge themselves at this too-short event. Seattle Center, biteofseattle.com.16–18 KIRKLAND UNCORKED Ten Eastside restaurants offer samples. Three top female chefs compete in the grill-off. Plus wine-tasting galore, live music, and art shows. Marina Park, kirklanduncorked.com.16–18 SEQUIM LAVENDER FESTIVAL Drive up to the Olympic Peninsula to see the world-renowned lavender farms. lavenderfestival.com.16–18 SEAFAIR INDIAN DAYS POW WOW Traditional Native American dancing, singing, crafts, and food, plus the crowning of the Seafair Pow Wow Princess. Discovery Park, unitedindians.org.17–18 SEATTLE TO PORTLAND BICYCLE CLASSIC Strap on the helmets, squeeze into the spandex, and prepare for a 204-mile ride to Portland. Or cheer your departing friends in this sold-out annual event. Husky Stadium Parking Lot, cascade.org. 17–18 BON ODORI A weekend filled with educational activities and performances linked to traditional Japanese Buddhist culture. Seattle Buddhist Temple, seattlebetsuin.com.17–18 VIKING DAYS Ballard's premier Scandinavian festival features men in silly Viking hats, the much-loved Swedish pancake breakfast, and a salmon barbecue dinner, among many other Nordic edibles. Downtown Ballard, nordicmuseum.org.18 SEAFAIR TRIATHLON A half-mile swim, 12-mile bike ride, and 5K run; proceeds benefit the Benaroya Research Institute. Seward Park, seafair.com.23 IN YOUR FACE: KURT COBAIN FILMS Doug Pray's grunge doc Hype! begins the series, which continues next Friday with Nick Broomfield's Kurt and Courtney. Following are Kurt Cobain: About a Son (Aug. 13) and Gus Van Sant's Last Days (Aug. 20). Seattle Art Museum, seattleartmuseum.org.24–25 ALKI ART FAIR Supporting programs to promote kids' artistic talents, the fair will include music, food, and a lot to look at. Alki Beach Promenade, alkiartfair.org.24 CAMLANN MEDIEVAL VILLAGE A chance to throw away the chaos of the 21st century and embrace the Dark Ages. (Through Aug. 22.) Carnation, camlann.org.25 HISPANIC SEAFAIR Celebrate Seafair the Latino way with music, dance, arts, and regional cuisine. Seattle Center, hispanicseafair.org.30 YANKEE TAVERN Steven Dietz (Becky's New Car) returns with a thriller about a young couple being pursued through the dive bars of New York. Conspiracy theories and 9/11 references abound. (Through Aug. 29.) ACT Theater, acttheatre.org.31 RINGO STARR & HIS ALL STARR BAND Spreading peace and love Beatles-style, Ringo will perform a relaxed selection of oldies. Chateau Amphitheatre, ste-michelle.com.31 SEAFAIR TORCHLIGHT RUN Starting in South Lake Union, separate 5K and 8K races are followed by the Torchlight Parade through downtown. Did we mention the pirates? seafair.com.31 TRISTAN AND ISOLDE Wagner's epic tale of doomed love runs through August 21. McCaw Hall, seattleopera.org.AUGUST1 PISTA SA NAYON Experience the largest outdoor Filipino-American event in the country. Seward Park, pista.org.1 WOODEN O/SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK Everybody loves the romantic comedy Much Ado About Nothing, staged outdoors. Seattle Center (Fisher Pavilion), seattleshakespeare.org.1–8 ACOUSTIC BLUES FESTIVAL A week of concerts and classes for blues enthusiasts, in a Port Townsend setting so charming it may actually be hard to have the blues. Fort Worden State Park, centrum.org.6–8 SEAFAIR AIR SHOW The Blue Angels and other military aircraft will provide loud yet impressive entertainment for viewers all around Lake Washington—whether you want to listen or not. seafair.com.6–27 CONCERTS AT THE MURAL Eclectic concerts are scheduled every Friday night through the month. Seattle Center, seattlecenter.com.6 TWIN PEAKS 20TH ANNIVERSARY FESTIVAL Has it really been so long since the Log Lady and Laura Palmer's murder? Local fans can expect several screenings and guests to honor David Lynch's short-lived TV show. Plus many pie jokes. Seattle Art Museum, seattleartmuseum.org.7–28 MOVIES AT THE MURAL Plant your blanket well before dusk to stake out a prime viewing platform for Saturday-night screenings of The Princess Bride, Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot. Seattle Center, seattlecenter.com.13 RODRIGO Y GABRIELA This guitar-playing duo, having been together for 15 years, performs as if they're one. Tonight they'll feature music from their newest album, 11:11. Marymoor Amphitheatre, stgpresents.org.13 SOUTH LAKE UNION BLOCK PARTY Just another 'hood block party filled with food, booze, and kid-friendly fun. Westlake Avenue and Denny Way, slubblockparty.com.13–15 SEATTLE TATTOO EXPO More than 200 national and international artists gather. Would it be too much to hope for an appearance by homewrecker Michelle "Bombshell" McGee? Seattle Center, seattletattooexpo.com.20 AMERICAN IDOLS LIVE! Catch the top 10 contestants from season 9, including finalists Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox. But not Simon Cowell, unfortunately. KeyArena, keyarena.com.20–22 SEATTLE HEMPFEST You damn hippies get off my lawn! Once again, the Cheech-and-Chong demographic will gather to promote marijuana legalization and preach to a very enthusiastic, if also extremely mellow, choir. Myrtle Edwards Park, hempfest.org.22 LONGACRES MILE As one of the richest stakes races in the country, this Breeders' Cup qualifier race features the best thoroughbreds in Washington state. Emerald Downs, emdowns.com.25 RUFUS WAINWRIGHT The first set will feature his All Days Are Nights: Songs for Lulu; the performance will be accompanied by a film directed by Douglas Gordon. Sister Martha joins him for the second set. The Paramount, stgpresents.org.26 EVERGREEN STATE FAIR Carnival rides, concerts, monster-truck and draft-horse shows, and lots and lots of food are the proven draws here. But wait—no pirates? (Through Sept. 6.) Monroe, evergreenfair.org.27 SAM REMIX DJs, walking tours, refreshments, and excellent views will be part of this favorite late-summer art soirée. Olympic Sculpture Park, seattleartmuseum.org.28 OYSTER RACING SERIES This "urban adventure" race draws teams from all over the Northwest, who then traverse the city. Seattle Center, oysterracingseries.com.28–29 TIBET FEST Local immigrants and supporters of the Dalai Lama celebrate the fabled Himalayan nation, now ruled by China. Seattle Center, seattlecenter.com.SEPTEMBER4–6 BUMBERSHOOT The traditional climax to summer features Bob Dylan, Weezer, Mary J. Blige, Hole, and the Decemberists as headliners. Plus dozens of other bands, comedy acts, food vendors, and visual-arts displays. Seattle Center, bumbershoot.org.
More Swashbuckling Summer Guide 2010:Seafair Pirates: Meet the men behind the marauding-over cocktails, ofcourse.Where's Johnny Depp?: The search for Vashon Island's most famous new (alleged) resident.Buried Treasure: Das Booty's rock operas sparked a pirate culturerenaissance.Captain's Grog: A highly subjective tour of six local pirate bars.The Rum Diaries: The top five rum drinks in the Greater Seattle area.Todd's Shipyarrs: A Lake Union captain offers sailing to the sick.Skyline Chilling: Where to booze under the sun in a city known for itsrain.Portland's Plunder: The Rose City's pirate record cruelly snapped byBrits.Cannonball!: The best planks (i.e., diving boards) to walk while nearlynaked.Adventures on the High C's: Sefaring summer operas abound!