Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)
It's summertime. Your life should be about sunshine and abundance right now, not sickly shades of depressing gray. Nevertheless, I see you getting bogged down in the muck of modern complications and implications because a few of your recent attempts at good deeds generated some shitty negative fallout, through no fault of your own. I don't blame you for feeling disheartened, but buck up, Boy Scout. It's true there's a dark side to every act, if you look for it. (You could see helping someone as robbing them of the chance to help themselves, for example.) But this week, there are at least a couple of old ladies who need (and would welcome) your aid in crossing a few busy streets.
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
A skilled quilter uses whatever he has on hand and figures out ways to incorporate every interesting shred of material into his final product. Eventually, he patches together something workable—and usually beautiful—out of a pile of seemingly useless scraps. You can work the same magic, socially, if you're determined enough, and willing. Pick up the tatters of a few threadbare and badly frayed relationships and start mending. It may involve swallowing your pride (especially if you had a hand in ripping the seams in the first place), and some odd and inspired matchmaking, but I'm betting that the end result will be something stronger and prettier than anything that came before.
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)
You've made your offer. There it sits, on the table, like a massive slab of incredibly rich triple-fudge cake. Now all that's required is patience, while your prey sniffs the bait. Wait! What the hell are you doing? Why the fuck would you even consider sprinkling sugar on top of this already very sweet gesture? Are you crazy, or truly too insecure to see clearly the delicious value and generosity of what you've already put on the plate? Please keep yourself from sweetening the deal. It'll make whomever you're trying to romance not only suspicious but downright nauseous.
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
You're in your element at the moment; perversely, that means you blend in so well that it may take a concerted effort to stand out and get noticed. It's like you're standing in a lightless room, garbed in black. Although this might be a little scary at first, resist going back to more well-lit scenes where it's easy to reap dramatic-seeming victories. You've been there and done that for far too long. You've outgrown the minor leagues; there's no challenge left there. Welcome to the big time— or at least its foyer. You're where you belong. The challenge, my dear, is proving it.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)
It's a good week to tie someone up and have your kinky way with them, or allow yourself to be bound and toyed with. There's something highly erotic about this kind of power sacrifice. Sagittarians attach so much import and desire to the concept of freedom that temporarily taking someone else's, or giving up your own, carries quite a charge. That kind of electricity could jump-start a whole new chapter for you. Try it; you'll see what new horizons become visible once that lightning has struck. I find it deliciously ironic that it may take a pair of handcuffs to reveal that your old idea of freedom is just a faint mocking echo of your new one.
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)
Don't hold your breath waiting for that pat on the back and you just might get it. Hide (or at least don't flaunt) whatever doubts you've had about any big decisions you've made recently. Your dreams are more likely to attract support (and success) when backed by your vigorous and confident approval than when eroded by your qualms. The powers that be are watching you—and as soon as they believe that you're going to succeed, they'll make sure that you do, by offering their validation and support. In other words, as soon as you don't look like you need their help, you'll have it, and then some.
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
The other night I dreamed someone chopped off your hand, right in front of me. Instead of the fountains of red blood I expected, your wrist oozed thick globs of butter, as you watched in bemusement. This was not some nocturnal fable about your cholesterol levels, however. It's more reflective of the sluggish nature of your internal affairs at the moment—how slow you've been to embrace and encourage change from the heart out. I understand your reluctance, but things need to move and flow before you calcify and keel over before your time. Luckily, it's summertime, and heating things up is easier than usual. Let's melt that fatty mess out of your veins and get them ready for some red, passion-rich blood—and the chaos and change that come with it.
Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)
Pisceans are creatures of faith. Some other signs need to try to make everything make sense, to relentlessly apply logic to the world until it all seems to line up and cooperate. You're wise enough to know this is all more or less impossible. You accept contradiction, variation, and incomprehensibility so sagely that on those rare occasions that things do fit together with the neatness and perfection of a mathematical equation, you often fail to recognize them—without some help. Well, here's the hint: This is quite possibly one of those times. Look for the simple, logical answer. It's there.
