If you love your dog, listen to the experts!

“Howard Keel’s The TLC Method of Training Your Dog offers a solid no-nonsense approach to dog training. . . . You won’t be barking up the wrong tree with this one!”Copley News Service.

“Superbly comprehensive and clear . . . covers all basic training bases”Los Angeles Times.

“Help is here! Howard Keel and a hand-picked assortment of professional trainers guide viewers through a simple step-by-step system. . . . Makes learning enjoyable for both parties”Billboard.

An award winner! Prix d’Excellence, Film Services Board. Best Instructional Video, Houston Int’l Film Festival.

Indeed the world’s most honored dog training video . . . for all breeds, any age. Featuring easy-to-follow instructions and tips from dog trainers, veterinarians, and pet therapists. Learn how training your dog can be fun and rewarding, while building a lasting friendship.

Only $19.95. Credit card orders call toll-free. 1-800 . . . oh fuckit. The TLC Method of Training Your Dog is SOLD OUT!

But hey, that’s OK. Now you can spend your money on a Static Lullaby.

A Static Lullaby plays Graceland at 9 p.m. Tues., April 1 with the Movielife, One Line Drawing, and Vendetta Red. $10 adv.