Since descending from some ridge in the Cascades to become the Sonics mascot, SQUATCH has become a beloved fixture in the community. His unbridled enthusiasm is a welcome complement to—and sometimes a welcome diversion from—the team’s on-court activities. His terse responses to our inquiries, however, suggest that he may still only possess the rudimentary language skills of a big, hairy Neanderthal or, more likely, that his masters in the PR department are exceedingly strict—hopefully they keep him well fed and give him a nice place to sleep. He’s been to Interbay, at least.

Best Local Sports Mascot (Other Than Me)

Doppler, the Seattle Storm Mascot.

Best Seattle Storm Player Never to Pick a Fight With

Lauren Jackson (don’t mess with the Aussies).

Best Mariners Player

Moose.

Best Mariners Player’s Butt

Lou Piniella.

Best Food Item at Safeco Field

Angel “Hair” Pasta.

Best Food Item at KeyArena

Grilled salmon.

Best Place to Buy a Basketball

Sonics & Storm Team Shop.

Best Park to Play Basketball

North Cascades National Park.

Best Yoga Studio

Hair Masters.

Best Place to Take a Jog

The Pacific Crest Trail.

Best Bike Shop

Downtown Harley-Davidson.

Best Bike Ride Destination

Darwin Museum of Natural History.

Best Gym

The Furtado Center, the Sonics and Storm training facility.

Best Golf Course

The Interbay Putt-Putt.

Best Place for an Outdoor Date

Woodland Park Zoo.

Best Place to Swim or Shower

The International Fountain at Seattle Center.

Best Place to Ski

KeyArena’s aisles.

Best Place to Buy a Bigfoot Outfit

I buy all my outfits at Seattleteam-shop.com.