I’m looking to get a gauge on what single life and the dating scene are like in Seattle. I currently live in Cleveland and am working on moving to the Pacific Northwest at some point within the next year. I have always loved the mountains and am moving for the natural beauty of the land and the outdoor activities, but I’m interested in finding out from a woman’s point of view if the dating scene in Seattle is as bad as men make it out to be.

I am 27 and male, in case you hadn’t figured that part out. Are there a lot of young girls in Seattle, and what sort of attitude should I expect? Sounds pretty ridiculous asking you to pigeonhole such a large group, but all I have heard is bitching and moaning by people who don’t seem to have all that much to offer anyway. I am well aware of current residents’ negative views of transplants moving to Seattle, taking local jobs, and increasing traffic, so I wonder if people put a negative spin on the city for outsiders. Thanks.

Leaving the Midwest

Dude, you’re living in Cleveland. With the exception of certain regions of Iraq, do you really think it’s possible to do worse anywhere else on the planet? I know plenty of people who moved to Seattle from elsewhere and made nice with the natives. But even if the unthinkable happens and you never get laid again, at least you won’t be in Ohio.

I had been dating this girl for about 14 months. With the exception of a few small problems, things were going great, and she looked to be the girl of the future. However, at about the 15th month, she decided she wanted to break up and have the option to date other guys. We would still see each other, but the option to see others was there. I said I would honor her wishes and work hard to “win” her back. I don’t know if she went out with any other guys. I really didn’t want to know, but I didn’t date any other girls. However, even though my feelings of doubt about us were getting stronger, I was still willing to try. Remember, the whole “break up” and “dating others” thing was her idea, not mine.

Then the unthinkable happenedI met someone. I happened to be on a business trip for four days, as was this other girl, and we spent some time together. It was fun, but we were realistic because she lives 1,500 miles away. While there, my ex-girlfriend called my hotel room, and the other girl answered the telephone (I was in the bathroom and asked her to). All hell broke loose, and now my ex won’t speak with me. I have tried incessantly to reach her, but no return phone calls. I have stopped in to see her perform (she is a local musician), but she won’t even acknowledge my presence. We had a great friendship and relationship for 16 months, and she now acts like I don’t exist.

I want to see her. I want to talk to her and see if we can work things out and work on the other issues. But no response from her at all. What should I do?

Feeling Really Lost Without Her

OK, first off, asking the other broad to answer your phone was extremely passive-aggressive. Don’t try to pretend that was done in innocencehotels have voice mail, and you had to know you’d be opening yourself up to a major shit storm if it was your ex on the line. Just admit that you were hoping she would see she was in danger of losing you, get wildly jealous, and come sprinting back to you. Not the brightest move, but understandable nonetheless.

And yes, your now-ex had absolutely no “right” to get pissed, but since when did anyone ever require justification to feel an emotion? That’s just not the way it works. You could keep trying to wear this poor woman down, but I doubt you’re going to get anything other than a restraining order out of it. My advice would be to move on. But then, you knew that.

Need justification? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.comor c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.