With the outcome of this baseball season largely determined, calling any seat in Safeco a “bargain” seems grounds for journalistic malpractice. The 2011 Mariners, after all, are only marginally better than they were last year, when they scored fewer runs than any team since the advent of the designated hitter. But in a genius bit of promotional savvy, the marketers behind the Mariners have managed to make a $30 ticket- for a seat that would normally sit empty- seem like a steal. Here’s why: During every Felix Hernandez start, section 150 (behind the left-field foul pole) gets transformed into The King’s Court , where three Alexander Hamiltons gets every fan a T-shirt, a “K” sign with a crown on top to mark every strikeout, and, most important, the chance to join the 100 or so other chanting, screaming lunatics whose tickets give them license to pretend they’re at a WWE event rather than a baseball game. Because if there’s anywhere the Seattle sports fan doesn’t want to be this year, it’s there. CALEB HANNAN