Dear Dategirl,
Why do women pretend to be interested and then never follow through? This has happened to me more times than I can count. The latest girl picked me up at a party this past weekend. She flirted, took my number, called, and we went out on Sunday and had what I thought was a great date. We were texting the next day and she just disappeared. I tried calling her later that evening, and it went to voice mail. She never called back—and, as I mentioned, this wasn’t the first time this has happened. I think I’ve been “dumped” more times in the past two years than I have over my entire dating career. What is wrong with these women?
—Sick of Being Nice
What’s wrong? Could be that she lost interest. Or perhaps you did something to offend her, creep her out, or remind her of her molester uncle. Her ex called, and she decided to give him or her “one more chance” for the 50th time. You have bad breath. Her cat died. She figured out that she actually is 100 percent gay, not bisexual; or maybe she just prefers gingers. She noticed that you’re too skinny, too fat, or that you say “nuke-u-lar.” She’s flaky. She’s part of an estrogen-fueled diabolical plot designed to make men crazy. Honestly, it could be anything or nothing.
Your mistake is thinking this is a chick thing. It’s not. It’s a human thing. Onward!
Last night, right after we finished having sex (great sex, I might add!), the man I’ve been seeing for the past six weeks told me he wanted to keep our relationship “strictly physical.” I was shocked. He told me that he was still entangled with someone I was originally told was his ex-girlfriend, but I guess she’s not so ex. He said our sex life was amazing and he totally respected me, but he can’t get seriously involved on any other level. Do I wait this out? The sex is really incredible, and I’ve been alone for two years. He can’t love his girlfriend (?) that much if he’s still sleeping with me.
—Booty Call?
Wait what out? Of course he can love his girlfriend and still fuck you senseless! (Emphasis on senseless.) Are you kidding? Do you seriously think your magical vagina will convince him to forsake all others and pledge his undying love?
I know being lonely is rough and two years is a long time, but wouldn’t you rather drink alone with your dignity than debase yourself in the futile hope that this schmo realizes you’re more than just a fuckdoll? You should also know that in my professional opinion, this guy is an asshole. (Caller #1, I hope you’re still reading.) It’s one thing to have an established booty-call thing happening. It’s quite another to announce it out of left field, post-coitus.
There you are, NAKED, all afterglowy and vulnerable, and the dude who just made your toes curl is suddenly declaring his ambivalence. What the fuckity fuck is that? I know it’s been a while since you had a boyfriend, but this clearly falls into the category of rude, unacceptable behavior. It’s up there with hitting on your sister or kicking your dog. There aren’t enough orgasms in the world to make up for that kind of douchebaggery. (At least I don’t think so . . . )
