Vows

Local couples celebrate nuptials.

Chance Melmeputen and Penelope Dinsel You know you’ve found your soul mate when he, too, shares your yen for jet skiing, Prada, and charity balls. So thought Penelope Dinsel when she literally rammed her future beau’s personal watercraft with her own. From this maritime near-disaster, love set afloat.

“Afterwards, we took a romantic moonlight jet-ski ride,” explains Dinsel, 21, the philanthropist daughter of Redmond dot-com billionaire Pete Dinsel and wife Sharon. Their launch into the stratosphere of perpetual pairdom came months later with Melmeputen’s offer of a titanium-sapphire engagement ring at the boat launch. “I was, like, so totally stoked that she accepted that I accidentally let Dad’s Expedition roll into the lake,” recalls an embarrassed Melmeputen, 23, presently on leave from college, and the son of Bellevue Internet porn baron Theo Melmeputen and his estranged third wife, Randi.

Their wedding, appropriately, was held on a barge moored off the Dinsel’s Lake Sammamish chateau. Chance and his groomsmen decided to ham it up Chippendales-style, wearing nothing but Speedos and black bow ties. Penelope and her maids of honor wore custom-fitted Body Glove wet suits, accessorized with pearls. All those involved in the ceremony approached the floating altar via Sea-Doo.

Starting from Ibiza, the couple plans an open-ended honeymoon pursuing “rad wakes that launch you for maximum air,” says the happy bridegroom. “As long as the trust funds hold out, we’re not coming home till the Nasdaq drops!”

Julio Cesar-Smith and Cathy Morris “Gas masks are just so sexy,” sighs 19-year-old anarchist-barista Morris, who instantly fell in love with her new life partner while protesting the WTO meetings in Seattle last year.

“We grabbed each other’s hands to form a human barricade and immediately sensed that the power of our love could put a halt to globalization,” says Cesar-Smith, a 26-year-old bicycle messenger. “Cathy had these combat boots on that just made me swoon. Her nose ring and the ‘Corporate America Blows’ tattoo on the nape of her neck had me instantly smitten.”

For their wedding, Cesar-Smith refused to buy Morris a ring, citing his opposition to “corporate jewelry cartels that buy diamonds from middlemen who torture and starve the oppressed indigenous peoples of South and Central America.” They also declined to exchange vows in a chapel or courthouse, Morris explains, “Because the laws of church and state are merely a tool of the patriarchy.”

So did they actually get married? “It’s like a radical collective of two,” declares Morris. “All that counts is that we feel we’re married. We don’t need some multinational to affirm our union.”