You know how it is: You’re going to be just a minute. You pull into an illegal zone on the street. When you return, your car’s gone—impounded by police. Maybe you’re between paychecks and unable to retrieve your wheels right away. Five days later, you’re $100 poorer. That’s what it took to get your car out of impound prison.

But you’re lucky. Had you parked on the other side of the street, it could have cost you $200.

Welcome to another cruel reality in traffic-snarled Seattle: As the city heads toward an estimated record 35,000 police impounds this year (not counting tens of thousands of private impounds from privately owned or operated parking lots), new towing laws and a crazy quilt of zone-to-zone impound and storage costs are adding to the challenge for drivers already bewildered by our infamous gridlock.

It’s a game of inches: By the width of the stripe down the middle of a street, one impounded Seattle motorist can end up paying five times as much as another.

Under rates adopted last year, the impound of a car illegally parked at Yesler Terrace on First Hill, for example, costs $81, plus $5 a day storage.

The same car towed from nearby Pioneer Square would cost the owner $76 and $5 a day.

If towed from the nearby SoDo district, it would cost $65.50 and $24 a day.

And if towed from the nearby Duwamish industrial area it would cost $71 and $12 a day.

In other words, location, location, location. It’s a factor especially critical to the impounded car owner once the clock starts ticking on storage fees. A car held in a North Seattle tow lot for 10 days would cost around $50. One similarly held in a South Seattle impound lot would run a tab close to $250. (These rates are all due to rise slightly this year. The city also tacks on an $8 administrative fee.)

The epicenter of confusion is First Avenue S at S Lander Street, in front of the SoDo Center, home of Sears and Starbucks. This is where three tow zones—and three towing contractors with three different city rates— meet at four corners.

Pick your poison carefully: If you’re the type to retrieve a towed car quickly, you’re better off pulling into an illegal zone on the southeast corner around the Western Neon store ($65.50 impound, $24 a day storage). But if you’re prone to letting your impounded vehicle languish, you’re better off illegally parking on the northeast corner near Sears ($76 impound, $5 a day storage).

Elsewhere, such as on either side of the I-5 freeway in the north and south zones, the cost difference is only a few dollars. But on Beacon Hill, the threat of being towed can be a factor in deciding where to seek medical attention: The hill is divided by two zones, and a car impounded around the Veterans Affairs Hospital will cost five times more than if it’s impounded up the street at PacMed Hospital.

The city says getting zoned out is a good deal for us.

“This may be a little confusing,” concedes Craig Leisy of the city’s Consumer Affairs Unit, which administers towing contracts. “But the process ensures that customers benefit from the lowest available impound and storage charges.”

Seattle is divided into six impound zones to prevent one company from obtaining a citywide monopoly and to stimulate more competitive bids for the tow business. That has lowered consumer costs, City Hall says—in some cases dropping storage rates over the years from $15 down to $5 (although, a closer look reveals, some tow fees have at the same time jumped by $40).

Either way, bidding by zone has also resulted in a befuddling Balkanization of impound fees. Road giant Lincoln Towing holds current contracts for four zones, in Central and North Seattle, while comparatively smaller Columbia Towing and GT Towing operate in the remaining Rainier Valley and West Seattle zones, respectively.

Lincoln charges the most ($81) for an impound but the least ($5) for one-day storage. Conversely, Columbia’s tow fee ($65.50) is the least while its storage ($24) is highest.

The fees are regulated by the city only in the sense that they were accepted as the lowest bids in open competition. “Bidders don’t discuss the reasons for their bids,” says the city’s Leisy. But “it’s possible that Lincoln’s storage charges are lower because the reductions are offset by higher impound charges. Since the process is competitive, it’s unlikely that bidders would want to make their revenue and cost projections public.”

Officials at Lincoln Towing— which has major storage yards in North Seattle and south Lake Union—did not return requests for comment. Linda Olson of GT Towing in West Seattle says simply, “I bid what I need to bid.” Her tow rates, like the others, are based on costs to cover the distance to the impound lot, she says. When asked about storage rates (more than double Lincoln’s), she demurred. “I’d rather not discuss them,” she said. “Why don’t you call Jackie Currie over at Columbia? Her rates are considerably higher than the rest of us.”

Indeed they are, says Currie, whose storage fees are five times that of Lincoln’s. But with good reason, she insists.

“Lincoln’s cars are basically in and out—impounded and released. Fifty-one percent of our cars go to auction, meaning they go unclaimed and sit here a longer time,” says Currie. “Our fees are higher because our costs are higher.”

Columbia’s larger, less mobile inventory is due in part to the city’s newly adopted state law to immediately impound cars operated by drivers with suspended licenses (see “A Sad Lot,” SW, 5/13). “Just the other day,” Currie says, “Lincoln, which has four zones, had 250 DWLS cars. We had 147 for one zone, apparently because there simply are more DWLS arrests around here.” The Rainier Valley has a high concentration of minorities and the poor who, County Council member Larry Gossett has said, are being unfairly targeted by the law.

Unlike cars impounded for other parking or traffic offenses, DWLS cars typically end up on the auction block after sitting on Currie’s lot for a month. (DWLS car owners pay a citywide flat rate of $72 towing and $12 a day storage.) They are less likely to be reclaimed not only because their owners are poor, but because the DWLS reclaiming process is so complicated due to some cash-only requirements, proof of ownership, and bureaucratic processes. The law has been so bewildering, a City Hall source says, that even the city and tow companies were initially confused and improperly sold some DWLS cars—whose owners are now seeking reimbursements.

Recent changes in city law mean that “we’ll be getting more of those longer-term impounds too,” says Currie, who, with her husband, bought Columbia in 1996 from her father, who founded the company in 1979. “The scofflaw impounds [of cars with four or more parking tickets] and the eyesore/abandoned vehicle tows will both be increasing.” But more impounds don’t necessarily mean more profit, Currie says. “Everybody thinks we’re making big money. But we’re not gouging anyone.”

Maybe not. But as a West Seattle driver told us the other day after having his car impounded downtown, “Next time I’ll hire a limo, it’s got to be cheaper.”