Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Imagine you got stranded in the deep wilderness with your least-favorite person. Despite your dislike, it wouldn’t take long before you’d be relying on each other for survival, even gratefully spooning for warmth on cold and rainy nights. Unconventional situations breed strange alliances. This qualifies, wouldn’t you say? If you walked away from your frenemy before you realized quite how useful they could be, you’d surely regret it for a very long time. This scenario will either be a big win-win or a miserable lose-lose situation. Which way it turns out is completely up to you.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

When a shy high-school classmate of mine was cast as the lead in the school play, the director eventually had to hook her up to a mike, because she was either unwilling to raise her voice, or actually incapable of it. She probably got cast because she was pretty—too bad she was in all other ways unsuited to being an actress. You too have been put into a situation that doesn’t exactly play to your strengths. Unlike that hapless teenage girl, however, I trust that you can rise to the challenge. Prove me right, please.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Imagine you got the ability to magically change your shape, but you only got to choose two other forms. What would you pick, and why? Your selections would certainly reveal a lot about who you are right now. Next, consider your selections in the fullness of time. How happy would you be with them in 10 years, or 50? How well would they serve you? What about all the other choices you’re making right now? I’m guessing that your elderly self wouldn’t exactly approve of or be pleased by some of them. You don’t need to make all your decisions based on how well they’ll set up your future, but consider using that criterion for at least a few of them. In other words, throw Future You a bone this week, won’t you?

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Sometimes you remind me of a mermaid, whose tail has split into legs but for whom every step is a painful trial. I don’t know what brought you out of the ocean and onto dry land, and I don’t care. What concerns me is that you haven’t yet really arrived. Part of you—the part that counts—is still back in the sea, or longing to be. What needs to happen now is that you need to either fully arrive—that is, bring all of yourself to where you are, and be happy to be there—or head back to where you came from (and where you think you’ll be happy) once and for all.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Everyone should have an active fantasy life. In fact, I worry that many people’s inner lives are mostly too staid and dull these days, and I highly encourage everyone to practice and hone their imaginations to juicy and vivid intensity. However, when you start spending more time in your head than out in the real world, it’s not usually good for your overall well-being. Ironically, because your symbol is the scales, your balance may be off—that is, you may be letting your fantasy life (some would call it delusional tendencies) eclipse what’s really going on. Shift the equation slightly in favor of the real world. No need to overcompensate when correcting, though; a 60-40 split will do just fine for now.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

As much as you’d like to construct your ideal partner out of bits and pieces of other people you’ve known and admired, that’s not how it works. Nor is there a reasonable facsimile of your romantic Frankenstein’s monster floating around out there, just waiting for you to discover him or her. Stop comparing people to that artificial and illusory ideal, because no one can stack up, and you’ll end up hurting people when you let them try. Your Frankenstein’s lover is a monstrosity that can’t really exist. Forget about it. Try to wipe your mind clean of any and all preconceived notions—let your next romantic entanglement be a complete and utter surprise.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

The problem with weeds is that in most cases they’re hardier and better-suited to growing in your garden than the plants you’d prefer to cultivate there. The same goes with memes (persistent thought patterns or concepts). Sometimes getting good ones to thrive requires a good amount of pruning, weeding, and TLC. You’ve neglected that; your mental garden is overrun with a whole bunch of crap that simply won’t inspire or feed you. Time to clear some of that shit out so good stuff can grow again. And this time, don’t neglect it. Your mind is as fertile and rich as it could possibly be—letting it support only dandelions and ragweed is a terrible waste.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

I always hated the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” But I can’t fault its sentiment. You’ve been getting so worked up about shit that really, really doesn’t matter. At all. In fact, if you could truly stand outside yourself and impassively observe the big fuss you’re kicking up, you’d be embarrassed. Mortified, even. There’s almost nothing in your life worth worrying about; there’s a bunch of stuff that’s completely out of your control, and thus there’s no point obsessing about it, and a whole shitload of stuff that is so petty and meaningless that it’s not worth the energy to freak out over. So, seriously—do what you’ve got to do, but stop worrying and start just plain being happy.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Despite what you seem to think, not everything you do has to be pure genius. While generally admirable, being such a perfectionist is possibly holding you back right now. Putting something out into the world when it’s only 80 percent of the way “there” (and already very good) may feel wrong, but it’s a hell of a lot better than sitting on it forever. You’ve already put forth a tremendous amount of effort. Now it’s time to let things go. Feel free to keep tweaking if you like—but only in collaboration with the world at large.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

There are all kinds of cases of people doing stuff while under the influence of sleep medications but having no memory or awareness of that stuff later. They argue that they can hardly be held accountable for what they did while effectively sleepwalking. Perhaps that’s right, but there’s more virtue in taking responsibility for things you’ve said or done, regardless of your state of mind at the time. This week, if you’re given a free pass, please consider not taking it. Instead, just own what happened and your role in it, whether or not you privately think the blame ought to be laid at your feet. Your magnanimity will be noted.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Sometimes the only way to get through something is in small increments. The whole deal about taking things one day or step at a time is a cliché because it works—it’s usually much more viable than wrapping your head around how long and hard you’ll ultimately have to work to reach the end. Knowing that ahead of time, or trying to face that day in and day out, almost every single one of us would feel overwhelmed and sorely tempted to quit. There are times to look ahead and make big, ambitious plans. This isn’t one of them. For now, take each thing as it comes. When it’s time to plan beyond the next few moments, you’ll know.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

I actually find stubbornness an appealing quality at times—except when it’s not. While sticking to your guns is frequently worth it, it’s occasionally exactly the wrong thing to do, especially when it needlessly holds up a process involving numerous other people (who happen to disagree with you). This week, be honest with yourself about why you’re digging in your heels and refusing to go with the flow. If it’s a reason you’ll be proud of 10 years from now, by all means carry on. If it’s anything less than that, please have the grace to just let it go.