This Week’s Horoscopes

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

I love Scorpios. I even spent 12 months trying to walk in your shoes (I told everyone my birthday was November 11 that year), just to see what it was like. Needless to say, I couldn’t quite pull off your edgy panache. You know you’ve got something that no one else has. This is a good week to revel in that unique quality. It’s one of those things that people either love or hate about you. Obviously, the ones who stick around must adore or appreciate this quality, so forget about the haters and just celebrate with the lovers.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

Sure, you could cook pretty much anything over an open fire with minimal equipment; it’s even possible to bake bread! However, why would you do so if you didn’t have to? If you’re keen for the challenge, then by all means have at it. However, if you don’t have a good reason for not using the stove and other modern appliances you have at hand (which are much better suited for what you hope to produce), then there’s no real point in forgoing them. If you’re doing it just to prove a point, or worse, play out some misbegotten martyr complex, stop being silly and just drop it. You have stuff to get done.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Seven out of 10 Capricorns (according to my informal poll), when asked which single superpower they’d select if they could have any, said they’d choose invisibility over the power to fly, preternatural strength, or even the ability to see the future. This may reflect your intense curiosity about other people, and your desire to be closer to them. However, I hope you outgrow your voyeuristic tendencies soon, since there’s a better option available—getting in on the action. Don’t watch unseen from the sidelines this week. All you need to do is ask, then jump right in.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

I’m not a big believer in divine creationism, but it still seems somewhat miraculous that before leaves wither and fall off trees for the winter, they turn a vivid variety of hues that happen to be quite beautiful. It seems to me they could just as easily all simply turn the same shade of brown, since they’re all more or less the same shade of green the rest of the year. How lucky we are that things play out the way they do! Instead of being merely functional, they’re frequently also surprising, gorgeous, and full of grace. Notice and appreciate that this week.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

No one can waste time like a Pisces. You Fish have a remarkable knack for making hours slip past with virtually nothing to show for them. Sure, your mind is busy during these times, but you’re so good at thinking in circles that you could end up hours later right where you began. That’s all fine; what you do with your own time is your own business. However, when you drag other people along on all these pointless, drifting journeys through limbo, you should be able to understand why they might not be so eager to join you again next time. Drift all you want, but know when synching up with the rest of the world would be a better idea, and do it.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Compromise is not your forte. In fact, you often need to be strong-armed into it, and will only acquiesce when you feel you have no other choices. However, I urge you to consider this: it doesn’t always have to feel as if you’re settling for less. Although many compromises result in a watered-down scenario in which neither party is especially happy, some of them can create a powerful fusion of ideas that produce something bigger and better than anyone originally envisioned. Since many of this week’s compromises could generate precisely this kind of stunning synergy, I suggest you remain as open to them as possible.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Some stains just won’t come out of your clothes, no matter what kinds of fancy, high-tech cleaning products you use. Ultimately, you may have to relegate that beloved shirt to the trash, or possibly have it become part of your “getting-messy outfit.” Stains on your soul, however, are much more malleable. Although some may be just as permanent, your soul is a flexible and dynamic thing; they can mutate into something beautiful and vital. Instead of trying to eradicate pieces of your past experience, seek to incorporate them into a stunningly beautiful (and achievable) version of you.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Unfortunately, you can’t quite be in two different places at once; even though today’s technology can almost make it possible, the result is that you’re not quite in either one. Split your presence and attention too much and you might as well be as flimsy, ineffective, and transparent as a ghost. It’s time to make potentially difficult choices about where you actually want to be, and then really go be there. I know it seems impossible to decide, but you’ve got to. If you can’t choose somewhere to go, you’ll simply wind up nowhere.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Most Cancers aren’t especially shy. However, you are some of the most guarded and closed-off people around, hiding your softest and most vulnerable bits behind a nearly impenetrable emotional shell that frequently keeps you from getting close to people. While it would be nice to encounter only people who were determined to get inside no matter how hard you made it for them, most people will never try hard enough to penetrate your formidable defenses. That means you have to do the bulk of the work and invite them in. How? Just put yourself out there.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

While fasting periodically, if done correctly, can be healthy for both body and soul, if done improperly or for the wrong reasons it can easily wreak havoc on both. It’s good for you Leos to do without some of the things you want sometimes, but only when you consciously choose to do so, as an exercise in discipline and, ultimately, in appreciation of those things and the other things you have. When you do it out of some misguided, masochistic desire to suffer, you damage all the things that make you sparkle—obviously, not the best idea. Check your motivation before you go without.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Don’t set yourself up for easy disappointment. You’re sculpting reality to reflect your own pessimism—essentially saying “If you hate me, keep breathing.” You make it almost impossible to prove you wrong—so of course your most negative ideas about yourself are frequently “proven” right. This dynamic has to stop. I’m not sure why you so badly want many of your own worst fears confirmed, but can you curb that behavior? Steer it toward something positive. While the opposite extreme (“Blink if you love me!”) would be nearly useless, setting yourself up for some easy confirmation of just how much you are loved, valued, and respected couldn’t possibly be a bad thing.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

How real are other people to you? Some Libras fall into the trap of seeing people in terms of categories, and while you’re careful to be present and genuine with those you view as friends, many of the others you interact with (cashiers, co-workers, or the like) become mere props who barely catch your notice. Many Libras, for instance, will think nothing of remaining on a cell-phone call with a “real” person while they do something entirely different with someone they consider unworthy of their attention. You do see just how awful and snobbish that is, right? Please don’t do it.