This Week’s Horoscopes

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Miners used to carry canaries into coal mines. Since the birds were more sensitive to toxic gases, they’d become ill before the miners, who would then have a chance to escape. Keep your eyes and ears open; the warning signs before you are certainly not as obvious as a bird falling stiff-legged from its perch, but they’re not hard to miss if you’re looking for them. And just like the bird-keeping miners, you still have plenty of time to get out. Ignore (or fail to notice) those warnings at your own peril. Looking back, they’ll be all too obvious, and you’ll kick yourself for not paying attention.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Your newest venture isn’t likely to show immediate results, so don’t expect them; you’ll only be disappointed. That’s like going to the gym twice and being bummed because you didn’t lose 10 pounds and gain visible muscle tone right away. Persistence and consistency will pay off, but these things take time. You’re not used to this kind of slow project; it will take a long time to come to fruition (and may never be technically “done”). However, this falls under the category of good things coming to those who wait; patience is your best ally right now. If you don’t have much, develop it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Sticking to your guns is all well and good, but you do sometimes lack awareness of exactly whom you’re disagreeing with. It’s probably a new concept for you, but sometimes it’s better just to bite your tongue, back down, and yield a little territory, given your relative positions. The Scorpio attitude is usually “I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks,” but sadly, that’s a little naive. There are some people whose opinions can have a tremendous impact on your current situation. Being flexible and bending a little will greatly expand your ability to ultimately get your ideas across. Standing firm and unyielding now, however, would only limit you.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

Leaving things open-ended doesn’t actually leave your options open—it just inconveniences everyone who’s put themselves out there for you. Being vague about your commitments is lame. If someone invites you to dinner and you tell them “maybe,” it means they can’t invite anyone else, but might still be dateless on Saturday night. Be decisive, clear, and forthright this week, even if that translates to what you perceive as rudeness or even meanness. Saying “No, not now, not ever” might feel cruel, but if that’s the case, it’s kinder to say that than “Maybe next time.” Be as brutal as you must, but as kind as you can.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

There are many different paths to a given goal, many different means to any end. You Goats tend to view things rather linearly, drawing straight lines between points A and B and only considering alternative paths when they promise to be more efficient or effective. However, the most “effective” or “efficient” route isn’t necessarily the best one, and what’s best for one person isn’t necessarily so for someone else. You need to shed your judgments and take a more holistic approach. Yes, accomplishing your goal should still take top spot on your agenda, but be more flexible about how you do so. For instance, if doing something in a way that is 10 percent less efficient makes everyone 50 percent happier while doing it, it might be well worth your while.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Sometimes you’re like a giraffe trying to blend in with the gazelles. You might feel as if you have an awful lot in common, but your essential differences are still going to make you stand out. There is something to be said about seeking out a crowd you’d feel more at home in, but for some people this mythical social “home” might not even exist. Therefore I suggest trying to make yourself as comfortable as you can right where you are. Yes, you’ll always be, to some extent, completely different from those whose lives you share, but being the beloved adopted outsider might ultimately suit you better than just being another member of the herd.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Just because you’re able to go to hell and back, and return with fruit, doesn’t mean you should. Hardly anyone even wants to eat those nasty underworld pomegranates, so why put yourself through all that hardship and suffering? Your life has enough of that as it is, so there’s no reason to go for more, especially since no one asked you to. We all know you’re capable of extraordinary things, and we love seeing you shine. However, you have nothing to prove here—except maybe that you’re not prone to making stupid choices, or the proud owner of a martyr complex.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Be careful—being a free spirit is often akin to being flaky. While the former is whimsical and loveable, no one enjoys the latter quality. It’s possible, of course, to march to the beat of your own drum without being unbearably undependable, but it takes a certain kind of groundedness that doesn’t come naturally to you Rams. It must be cultivated. I would hate to see you lose your idiosyncratic flair, but I’d be thrilled to know I could count on you when I needed you. There’s a way to have both, and this week is a great week to discover, embrace, and practice it.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Dark chocolate and chili peppers might sound gross—until you try them, when you realize that they’re actually a great combo, as long you like things spicy. You tend to stick with what you know and love, and are generally content with that. Mixing things up and rocking the boat are things that alarm or bug you, but since that’s what’s happening this week, like it or not, I suggest you lower your center of gravity, hang on, and try to enjoy the ride. There’s a lot to enjoy here, as long you’re not hung up on what you’re not digging about the new scenario—a tendency all too likely if you’re not careful. Lighten up, loosen up, and open up. If you’re flexible enough, you’ll probably really like what happens next.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Mind your own business. You have a nose for interesting situations, and part of how you keep yourself entertained is by involving yourself in scenarios that don’t necessarily concern you. That’s all well and good, especially when you use your communication skills to help resolve a conflict or bring people together. But sometimes you just need to butt out completely. That even means not lending one person or the other (or, goodness forbid, both) your sympathetic ear. It means walking away and saying “Get in touch when you’re both over it.” That’s a new paradigm for you, I know. Nevertheless, I hope this week you’ll give it a try.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

You’re trying to walk without crutches on a broken leg. In a way, I admire your fortitude and stubbornness, but in this scenario you’ve taken it to kind of an extreme, don’t you think? What are you trying to prove, and to whom, and why? I’m not convinced you have satisfactory answers to all these questions, and even if you do, I’m also unconvinced that there’s not an easier, better, and less excruciating way to accomplish exactly those goals. This week, instead of torturing yourself for no good reason, seek the painless alternative that will get you to exactly the same place.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Repetitiveness, while not your favorite thing, isn’t a huge problem for you. For most Leos, if you liked something once, you’ll probably like it a hundred more times (as long as they’re not all in a row). Whereas some signs need constant newness, you’re happy with a rotating list of favorites, with only the occasional unfamiliar surprise thrown in. You thrive in a happy, stable routine. Unfortunately, your recent more-random situations have been anything but. This week, focus on manifesting a bit more of that joyful, familiar stability back into your life, so that you can enjoy the surprises as they should be: book-ended by things you already love.