This Week’s Horoscope

Aries (March 21–April 19)

I’ve been vegetarian for 21 years, yet it still surprises me when someone tries to feed me chicken—as if “it’s not real meat.” Watch your own boundaries, too. Someone may try to cross them or attempt to find a loophole. Whether they’re sneaky or clueless, they still need to be stopped. Be calm and respectful at first—no need to overreact, especially if it’s just a case of simple ignorance. Clearly and firmly restate where the line is, and how and why they’ve crossed it. Then drop it. If they cross it again, though, the gloves come off.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Positive thinking can be a tremendous boon to manifesting new and better things in your life; however, it’s not a cure-all. While it’s true that negative thinking usually makes things worse, just being relentlessly optimistic won’t really solve your problems. It’s better to be realistic, open-minded, and persistent in assessing those issues and figuring out a way through them. It helps along the way if you remain confident that you will eventually find a solution. Aim for “I can work through this”—far better than “Everything will work itself out.” That’s simply naïve.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

There are about 23 different solutions to the problem you’re trying to solve, instead of the two or three extremes you’re attempting to decide between. Try approaching this from many more angles than you have so far, and injecting more humor and creativity into the situation overall. The trio of unimaginative ideas you’ve come up with so far are only likely to make the situation worse (something you already suspected, which is why you haven’t implemented any of them yet). If you honestly can’t come up with more and better paths through the situation, ask for some help—your quirkiest, most idiosyncratic friend will probably be your best resource.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

There are certain people in your life you go to to be comforted. However, as emotionally fulfilling as these visits probably are, they don’t generally do much to solve your problems, but merely make you feel better about them. What you need now is someone who’ll blankly state the unadorned truth about the situation without censoring herself for fear of making you feel worse. That doesn’t mean a compassionless robot, but someone who can see that the kindest thing to do is give you a clear picture, so you can make good decisions about how to act, even if said picture is unflattering, harsh, or unpleasant. Do you have such a person in your life? If not, find one.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Generally fair distribution of labor is the rule when it comes to the day-to-day of modern relationships. “I cook, you clean,” is reasonable. However, keeping a running tally of who does what and trying to ensure it’s always perfectly balanced is a sure road to disaster. Gross inequities that breed resentment should be addressed, but anything less than that you should do your best to ignore. “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” they say, and they’re right. Keep that in mind this week, and remember that even if you think you’re doing more than your fair share, you’re probably not—and in any case, you’re not getting such a bum deal; there’s really no point in making a stink.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Sometimes you have no choice but just to cut things off—however, this isn’t one of those times. While a brief blackout period to clear the air might be in order, there’s really no need to just go permanently AWOL. There’s much that’s salvageable here, and if you can approach the situation with a bit of humor, compassion, and optimism, it won’t even take much work to extract it—just a bit of clear communication and a few kind words to smooth the way. Never say never. “Not now” is OK, and even “next month” is acceptable. But never? No way.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

I’m a big fan of rewarding yourself when you do something good, but let’s not go overboard; you might be treating yourself a bit more often or more lavishly than is strictly justified. You’re not a dog who needs a treat every time she sits or poops in the right place. Save the rewards for the bigger stuff that takes a bit of effort to do the right or best thing—and expect the best of yourself the rest of the time, without needing a reward. I expect you to be a delighted hedonist and enjoy the finer things in life, but this week take it down a notch or three.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Before you get all bent out of shape about something someone asked you to do, consider it from their perspective. While it’s admittedly an inconvenience for you, skipping it would be a huge hassle for them. Cut them a break and just do it. Put yourself in their shoes and just suck it up and get it done, and hope that karma returns the favor somewhere down the line when you’re in a position similar to theirs. Once it’s done, you’ll realize it wasn’t such a big deal, and certainly far preferable to the guilt you’d have felt if you’d shirked this task and made them suffer through it on their own.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

While you’re generally one of the most honest people you know, you have been known to stretch the truth now and then, either by leaving something out or exaggerating something else that you’d prefer people to focus on. These little enhancements aren’t a sign you’re going to hell, but they are an insidious habit that can hurt you when you encounter someone who’s really going to get to the bottom of a story and discover them. Sometimes it’s OK—and politically advisable—to sort of spin the story. This time, though, it’s really best if you just spill the beans, all of them, the first time it comes up.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

One way to lose weight is simply to stop eating. (Most people who do the Master Cleanse fast lose quite a bit of weight during it.) However, that does nothing to positively change your metabolism, exercise, or eating habits (most people who fast gain back all or more of the weight once they stop fasting). If you need a quick-and-dirty fix (“I need to look good in that bathing suit next weekend!”), then by all means go for it, but overall I hope you’re looking for a better long-term solution, one that’s sustainable even if it doesn’t give you quick results. This doesn’t apply only to losing weight, by the way. It goes for whatever your goal is this week.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Sometimes having a lot of people brainstorm can lead to some great ideas; however, all too often it can result in watered-down concepts that get further diluted as they’re developed. The cliché is “Too many cooks spoil the broth,” and it’s certainly applicable here. By all means, entertain ideas and suggestions, but at some point—fairly early on—you need to cut them off and work with the best ideas and refine them. That won’t sit well with some people—but you need to ignore them and keep things moving. They won’t bitch so much when you get the results you’re aiming for.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Every blessing can be a curse. Imagine if your blood had the power to instantly cure any disease. At first it would be a great boon to be able to remedy your friends and loved ones of all that ailed them—but as soon as the world got wind of your “gift,” you’d be miserable, as people far and wide clamored for a drop or two of the stuff. Revel in all the good things in your life, of course, but be aware that they can turn sour, and be careful not to take them too far.