Sign Language

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)When someone thinks they know better than you about what you ought to prioritize and what should be put on the backburner, or discarded entirely, you have a problem. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those problems that’ll go away with a simple “Mind your own business,” no matter how much they really ought to. It could escalate to dramatic levels very easily. Defusing this potentially explosive situation might very well have to go to the top of your current priority list, whether you like it or not—but that, of course, is entirely up to you.Aries (March 21-April 19)You’re like an amateur fairy godmother, aren’t you? You love to help make people’s wishes come true. However, sometimes you end up biting off more than you can chew. Then you simply have to accept that this particular wish is more than you can handle. As heartbreaking as it might be to let someone down, there’s really no other option. Learn this lesson: Attempt to better assess the things you take on before you take them on, and make sure you’ll be able to follow through. The only thing worse than crushing someone’s dreams is raising their hopes high before you do it. Taurus (April 20-May 20)Ironically, the person most resistant to your wise advice is you. Even when you take a step back from a tricky situation and issue the advice you’d offer anyone else in a similar scenario, you have trouble heeding your own counsel. You’re too stubborn. Even though the rational part of you can agree that your suggestions are sound, that part’s simply not in control. This week is all about handing over the reins to the most logical, least emotional side of yourself, utterly and completely, so that you can do what you know needs doing. That, of course, is easier said than done—but it’s still this week’s goal.Gemini (May 21-June 20)Just shut up! While your silver tongue has gotten you out of many situations, it’s not the answer to everything. You can’t talk yourself out of some things, and frequently—especially right now—running your mouth will just make things much, much worse. Clamp down on the terrible temptation to try to smooth-talk those involved and somehow turn the scenario around with a few well-chosen words. It won’t work. Bite your tongue, already. I guarantee such a bite will hurt much less than the kind you might receive from someone else if you fail to keep your lips sealed. Cancer (June 21-July 22)Unlike those image-conscious Leos and socially adept Geminis, you Cancers are usually too involved with your own emotions and subjective viewpoint to clearly see exactly how you come off to other people—which is frequently drastically different from what you imagine. This is especially important when it comes to interviews and first impressions. This isn’t a call to adopt some fake, perfectly palatable persona for these occasions, but simply to attempt to see yourself more objectively, in the moment, rather than after the fact (which is of course much easier). With such objective observation, the necessary subtle changes will happen quite naturally.Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)Pretending you’re anything other than a proud and powerful lion doesn’t work for more than the very short term. You’re not that good an actor. I’ve seen Leos try to be kittenish, meek, and docile, and they come off as whiny, fake, or bored instead. It’s quite simply better to just be yourself, in all your overblown glory. Yes, that means you’re completely inappropriate for some situations, and you will rub certain people the wrong way. But your inappropriateness and feather-ruffling would become evident sooner or later, no matter what you did. Why not just get it out of the way?Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)You’d think Virgos, given their penchant for cleanliness and order, wouldn’t particularly like housepets. Untrue! Most Virgos have a profound love for their cats, dogs, or other creatures, despite their tendencies to shed on furniture, chew on slippers, or pee on rugs. It’s one of the weird seeming incongruities that makes you such a fascinating person, instead of a stereotypical cliché, for anyone who bothers to get to know you more than superficially. You have many such surprising facets. If someone seems to be putting you in a box this week, wave one of them around.Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)When was the last time you took a real risk, or sought out genuine adventure? I’m not talking about fake adrenaline rush “adventures” like hopping on a roller coaster. I’m referring to the stuff that gets your heart pounding because it involves true unknowns, or perhaps emotional risks. Unlike those risk-loving Scorpios, reckless Aries, or courageous Leos, this isn’t something that comes naturally to you (those other signs really can’t help themselves). However, it’s still a quality worth cultivating, even if it does lead to some discomfort or even pain—the richness it adds to your life will more than outweigh those.Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Scorpios are wild creatures that can never really be domesticated. They might appear tame for short periods of time, and they may evolve out of capricious use of their formidable stings, but they never truly lose that wild side, that attraction to darkness, danger, sex, and all the most fascinating aspects of life. Only those who truly understand this can stand beside their Scorps for the long haul. Of course, I wish I could convey this to every other sign in the zodiac, but ultimately I’ve decided it’s not really my job; it’s yours. You want someone to stick around? Make sure they understand this, deep down, as soon as possible. Whether they accept it or not is out of your hands, but if they truly can’t, isn’t it better you figure it out now?Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)While Sagittarians can be good gardeners, they’re generally not inclined to be. Sticking around long enough to tend sprouts, prune plants, and harvest produce just doesn’t come naturally to you. Most of the kinds of seeds you sow are those that either come to fruition quickly, or can be carried with you on your next journey or adventure. However, every once in a while, it might be worth planning around a harvest that’s likely to add tremendous richness and perhaps even adventure to your life, if you’re patient enough. This could be one of those times. So are you sufficiently patient? I suppose only time will tell.Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)I’ve never shot a gun. Nevertheless I would attempt to learn how, quickly, if the world was overrun by brain-devouring zombies. Sensibly, acquiring skills we don’t have immediate uses for doesn’t rank high on our priority lists. That’s why it’s so galling when we’re forced to waste time learning stuff we simply can’t imagine ever needing to know (remember algebra in high school?). This is one of those times when you might be forced to fill your brain with stuff that’s useless to you. Instead of wasting a lot of energy getting pissed off about it, wrack your brain trying to think of potential uses for the “knowledge” you’re acquiring. If that fails, just try to get through the situation as quickly and painlessly as possible.Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)Tomorrow’s another day. Sometimes that’s your only consolation when today’s not so good. Things can look different after a good night’s sleep, or just 24 hours’ passage of time. It’d be great if you could turn things around right this second, but that’s just not always possible; when it’s not, the best thing to do is just remember that everything changes. Stop railing against the lameness of the moment, and simply concentrate on getting through it. Bide your time. Notice the small little things that are still sweet, instead of the one big sour thing . . . and wait.

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