Sign Language

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)People aren’t rational. The sooner you accept this with grace and humor, the less stressful this week will be. That’s not to say it’ll be stress-free; dealing with these crazy freaks will probably still cause you some misery, but as long as you can keep a calm head and laugh at their silliness instead of being annoyed by it, you’ll survive. Of course, try to remember not to laugh in their faces. That’s understandably likely to make things worse. Chuckle on the inside, humor them when possible, and proceed to the next chapter as swiftly and efficiently as you can.Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)Nosy people are terribly annoying. You can’t do anything about just how obnoxiously intrusive they are. All you can really control is how you react to their boundary violations. Do you suppose that getting annoyed, defensive, or retaliatory is going to either help things or make your life more pleasant? Probably not. Laughter is your best bet here—even if you can’t make them laugh, at least you can do yourself that favor. Steer toward trying to tell them to mind their own business in the most hilarious way possible, then gracefully move on with your life, hopefully with a smile on your face. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)When people question your choices, you must ask yourself: Are they coming from a place of legitimate concern, or just being judgmental douches? If the former, heeding them is probably in your best interest, and your decisions should be thoughtful enough to withstand a little well-meant scrutiny, anyway. In the latter case, though, putting them in their place can be very satisfying, and I highly recommend it. That can be a lot of effort, though, and they might not be worth it. In that case, you don’t need to take their bullshit; just walk away.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)I usually urge you to resist your tendency to avoid conflict, as leaving too many things unresolved is good for neither you nor anyone else in your life. However, some things really are best swept under the rug and forgotten, because bringing them up would inevitably make them into a much bigger issue than they actually are. This is one of those times. Yes, this molehill is annoying, but there’s no way to mention it without it becoming a mountain, so your best bet is to do what you have to do to get over it and never mention it; if you ever do, you’ll probably regret it.Aries (March 21-April 19)You have a tendency to root for the underdog, which sometimes means you can end up on the “wrong” team or help someone do something that might reflect poorly on both of you later. Let’s just say that when your emotions get involved, your rational judgment suffers. That’s not entirely a criticism; it’s one of the things I enjoy about you. However, it can definitely get you into trouble, especially this week, so turn up the volume on your natural caution and try—really try—to look before you leap, so you can (this time, anyway) land on your feet instead of your ass.Taurus (April 20-May 20)When people go through major changes in life (getting pregnant, moving house, losing a loved one), they naturally experience powerful, uncontrollable emotions, and generally everyone understands. What people are less understanding about is that even small (but significant) changes can produce emotions that are nearly as difficult to resist or suppress (even if they’re not quite as extreme), so you’re frequently tempted to hide them—something you’ve become quite good at. This week, though, I hope you don’t, because hiding what you feel would reinforce the walls between you and others. Showing a little vulnerability, on the other hand, would only endear you to the people you love—clearly the better outcome.Gemini (May 21-June 20)Having lived in cities where many people are loaded, I’ve often rubbed elbows and become friends with people much wealthier than me. Having such a huge disparity in lifestyle can be off-putting; I remember struggling to listen without resentment to a friend discussing which million-dollar apartment to buy, while I was wondering how I’d afford dinner that night. In some cases, it’s inevitable that money can create a rift between people, but this week that’s not the case unless you push hard in that direction. It doesn’t need to be that big a deal right now, so don’t make it one. Cancer (June 21-July 22)No one knows better than you just how dynamic life is; nothing’s permanent. Unfortunately, many Cancers can get into a terrible mental pattern where you barely allow yourself to experience happiness before you begin to contemplate the end of that happiness—thereby putting a serious damper on your own joy. Obviously just telling yourself to “get over it” doesn’t often work, so you may need help or distractions to really enjoy these delightful moments, without worrying much about their (yes, inevitable) ends. This week, getting that help or distraction should be quite easy; ask and ye shall receive. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)Some requests are simply unreasonable, but that by itself should be an indicator of where the people making those crazy demands are coming from—perhaps a place of intense emotion or deep need. Before you call them out, consider that. It’s up to you how far you allow your normal boundaries to be bent or not, but try to be compassionate, no matter what you decide. One thing’s for certain: Whether or not these people truly require what they ask of you, they definitely do need your kindness and understanding. Whether or not you fulfill their demands, try to at least give them that. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)What I want from others is thoughtfulness, reasonableness, and logical consistency. I don’t expect everyone (or even most) to share my views, but it galls me when someone’s philosophies are rife with hypocritical inconsistencies, major logical flaws, or simply don’t make sense (reflecting a complete lack of actual thought). Of course, I rarely have to worry about such things with you Virgos; you’re usually the picture of logic and reason—except once in a while, when you veer off-course. Since that’s a danger this week, please pay attention and use your marvelous brain to keep your occasionally erratic emotions on track.Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)I don’t have a green thumb. What a simple thing, to keep plants alive, right? However, I suck at it; perhaps it’s because the feedback they give me is often too late to do anything about; by the time they’re wilting and brown, for example, more watering won’t save them. Humans, when they’re especially reticent about their emotions, can be just as bad, which is why I prefer people who aren’t shy about sharing, so that I can react before things have progressed past the point of no return. Be one of those people; express yourself while there’s still time for correction and change, instead of waiting until it’s actually too late.Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)People can do extraordinary things when they transcend their limitations—or what they thought were their limitations. Naturally, this only happens when they try things they think themselves incapable of. This is when self-knowledge can be a terrible weakness, Scorpio. Since you know yourself so well, you may believe you know how much you can (or can’t) do—but that knowledge is probably inaccurate or outdated. It’s time to test yourself by pushing far past what you thought you could do. Don’t just aim higher; shoot for the highest point you can see. You may fall short—but a lot closer than you ever

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