OMG! You mean you’ve never heard of trolls? The kind who harass Internet users via “chans” and the notorious, anonymous message board known as “/b/”? Beware /b/! Beware the Internet! Don’t use it! Trolls are lurking! That’s the the subject of this coming Sunday’s big story in the New York Times Magazine. We, being in the media, love media scare stories. And reporter Mattathias Schwartz travels all the way to Kirkland to hook up with a troll source, Jason Fortuny, whom the writer describes thusly:”the closest thing this movement of anonymous provocateurs has to a spokesman. Thirty-two years old, he works ‘typical Clark Kent I.T.’ freelance jobs — Web design, programming — but his passion is trolling, ‘pushing peoples” buttons.’ Fortuny frames his acts of trolling as ‘experiments,’ sociological inquiries into human behavior.”And now Fortuny is the nation’s most famous troll! It must be true, because it’s in The New York Times! And another thing: we should all be very, very afraid of him. He’s mean to people on the Internet. He’s mean to Schwartz. So turn off your Internet and unplug your computer! Because there are mean people out there like Fortuny.Besides, it’s August, when news is slow. So if there aren’t any shark attacks, at least we have trolls.