Old Weezy Gets Bit
Published 8:00 am Monday, February 12, 2007
On Oct. 8, a paint gelding from Maple Valley became the first horse in King County to lose its life to the pesky West Nile virus. The gelding’s name was Old Weezy, and he was 78 (in horse years).
According to a King County public health department press release dated Nov. 9: “West Nile virus is spread to people and to horses by mosquitoes that have bitten infected birds.” Old Weezy had apparently been vaccinated against West Nile in 2005, but had not received a booster shot since then.
Hence, a murder investigation has been launched by an elite, clandestine cross-jurisdictional police force known as the Secretariat Seven, which investigates equine fatalities that fall outside standard euthanasia parameters. In the case of Old Weezy, Pet Cemeteryhas obtained a file that reveals the identities of both the mosquito and bird believed to be responsible for the gelding’s death (a gelding is a male horse who is relieved of his reproductive organs, typically at an early age).
The bird in question is a Bozeman, Mont.–based hawk named Otis, who was once imprisoned for slipping a roofie to a Montana State co-ed at a Jell-O wrestling party just off campus. The bird claimed he did what he did because the co-ed’s boyfriend had tried to shoot him during a group hunt the weekend prior, but a jury failed to see the valor in Otis’ alleged motive.
After serving out a six-year term in the state pen, Otis fled (literally) to Cheney, Wash., where he fell in with a mosquito colony called the Pit Vipers. Randy the Blade was a junior lieutenant in this militaristic order, and one night after a treetop soiree where much Goldschläger was consumed, an inebriated Randy the Blade sunk his biting apparatus deep into Otis’ neck, unknowingly contracting the deadly virus that would soon befall Old Weezy.
Weezy, meanwhile, was a lovable and competent riding horse, regularly placing in 4-H shows at the King County Fair in Enumclaw. According to the leaked file, it was here that Randy the Blade is alleged to have murdered Old Weezy. Charges are said to be imminent.
If you would like your deceased pet to be considered for this space, please send a high-resolution 4-by-6 photo and brief description of his or her life to petcemetery@seattleweekly.com.
