Last November, at 4:40 in the damn morning, Seattle police officers received a call about an “intoxicated man wrestling with a tree.” It was unclear from the call who was winning the match, but SPD wanted to make sure they caught the last rounds. The P-I

reports that when the officers got to the apartment complex on Interlake Avenue North they found a very drunk Mr. Baker sitting in some nearby shrubs, breaking branches and muttering to himself.Two officers approached him and tried to see what was going on. Baker apparently told them to “just fucking book me.”The cops didn’t “just fucking book” him. Instead they supposedly had him sit on a curb to try to talk it out. But while the cops talked with him, something upset Mr. Baker–perhaps an officer had used pine-scented body spray or had a pocketful of acorns. Either way, he allegedly stood up and punched one of them right in the face.Then they did “just fucking book” him–though it’s unclear why it took four months to file charges.The tree, meanwhile, was “unmoved” by the affair. Follow The Daily Weekly on Facebook and Twitter.