It’s been some time since Spokane was the butt of Washington’s jokes..*See

It’s been some time since Spokane was the butt of Washington’s jokes..*See Also:

Does Spokane Suck?No, Seriously, Does Spokane Suck?But the Lilac City is back in its rightful place this week as its boys in blue put out an all points bulletin yesterday for a man who tried to break into a house with his pants around his knees. Note that this was not some helpless fool who can’t afford clothing to stave off the brisk, Inland Northwest air. He’s bundled up in a hat and coat.The circumstances of the full-moon malfeasance is yet unknown. We here at the Seattle Weekly speculated that folks over there are just getting goofy now that their tequila meth — or as they call it in Spokane, their morning cup of Joe — was seized in Seattle. Or that with respected members of the community baring it all, the rest of the town has decided to follow suit.Police are calling him a sex predator, which is both less funny than our speculation and probably more likely.The good news is that this time of year, a Spokanite’s ass downright glows in the dark, providing the camera a well-lit view of the crook’s crack. Plus, since it’s mighty snowy over there, footprints helped police determine that the man had approached 15 to 20 other homes, the Spokesman-Review reports.So without further ado: Do you recognize this rectum? Spokane Police Department, via the venerable Spokesman-Review


Talk to us

Please share your story tips by emailing editor@seattleweekly.com.

More in News & Comment

File photo
Puget Sound renters will need housing assistance
Puget Sound renters will need housing assistance

Nonprofits, activists are expecting greater need as workers are laid off.

Freshwater variety of kokanee salmon from Lake Sammamish. File photo
Encouraging numbers for kokanee salmon spawn count

Lake Sammamish kokanee aren’t out of the woods by any stretch, but… Continue reading

In this file photo, Tayshon Cottrell dons his graduation cap and gown, along with a face mask reading: “Wear it! Save America” at Todd Beamer High School’s virtual graduation walk recording on May 20, 2020, in Federal Way. Olivia Sullivan/Sound Publishing
Law gives Washington high school seniors leeway to graduate

Gov. Jay Inslee signed a bill that can waive some requirements for students who were on track before the pandemic.

File photo
Study shows Washingtonians exceeded ‘heavy drinking’ threshold in 2020

The survey suggests Washingtonians drank more than 17 alcoholic beverages a week on average.

Mercer Island School District first-graders returned to in-person classes on Jan. 19, 2021. Here, Northwood Elementary School students head into the building. Photo courtesy of the Mercer Island School District
Governor: Educators are now eligible for coronavirus vaccine

“This should give educators more confidence,” Jay Inslee said. Other frontline workers could soon be next.

Malden, after a wildfire burned down 80% of the town’s buildings in Eastern Washington. Courtesy photo
DNR commissioner seeks $125 million to fight wildfires

In Washington state last September, some 600,000 acres burned within 72 hours.

Washington State Supreme Court Justices (back row, L-R) Raquel Montoya-Lewis, Sheryl Gordon McCloud, Mary I. Yu, G. Helen Whitener, (front row, L-R) Susan Owens, Charles W. Johnson, Steven C. Gonzalez, Barbara A. Madsen and Debra L. Stephens.
Justices strike down Washington state drug possession law

Police must stop arresting people for simple possession.

In Phase 2 of Gov. Jay Inslee’s reopening plan, which was announced Jan. 28, restaurants can reopen at a maximum 25% capacity and a limit of six people per table. Inslee recently announced all counties will be staying in Phase 2 of the state’s reopening plan for the next several weeks. Pictured: People enjoy outdoor dining last summer in downtown Kent. Courtesy photo
Inslee: All of Washington to stay in Phase 2 for a few weeks

The governor issued a weekslong pause on regions moving backward, but has yet to outline a Phase 3.

Most Read