Illustration by Joshua Boulet
Dear Astrologer,
I’m a 36-year-old professional baseball franchise based in the Northwest United States. I’ve been having a rough couple of years, almost to the point where I feel like unseen forces greater than myself are conspiring against me. I’ve made some grand gestures toward serious change this year, but I’ve still got a lot of uncertainty in my life. With this in mind, I’ve got to ask: Are the stars aligned for me this year?
Sincerely,
The Seattle Mariners
Born April 6, 1977
Dear Seattle Mariners,
Old Man Saturn is paying you a visit in 2014. Saturn’s visits are a bit like a pie in the face: You like what he brings, but you object to his delivery. Boot camp and cold showers were both invented by Saturn.
Saturn’s visit means your 2014 season will be a no-nonsense year demanding hard work and discipline. Benefits come from his simple regimens and attention to basics. Review very carefully the practices and policies begun in the 2006 season: Think outside the box, be a pioneer of things never-before-tried, and don’t hesitate to affect necessary changes. They will pay off most handsomely in the 2016 season.
Your year at a glance: Don’t be dismayed by early-season sluggishness. Performance improves dramatically beginning in May. A robust and well-placed Sun in Aries is this year’s rising-sign ruler, boding well for the season overall. An equally strong Venus is ruling the third house of competition, giving the team a distinct playing edge.
Your strongest period of the season comes in August and September. Moon and Mars will progress together at that time to put the team at its competitive best.
Team morale spikes upward in September, as some long-standing tensions or conflicts cease to trouble. Also, Saturn by then will be packing his bags and saying good-bye. This should give you a satisfying finish to the season. Maybe even a hot shower. E
Unlike some of the stories in this package, Chicken Little and the Astrologer is a real thing, appearing regularly in Whidbey Weekly. Send your questions, along with your date, time, and place of birth (as listed on your birth certificate) to Wesley at planetbiz4u2@gmail.com.
