Horoscopes

Nov. 29th - Dec 6th, 2006

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

What I love about you are all the stupid choices you make. You’re a leap-before-you-looker; that’s part of what makes your life so exciting. But every once in a while, the aftermath of your lack of foresight catches up with you, and you have to deal with the consequences of your bad decisions. At these times, you’ll find your allies are thin on the ground, because many of your friends warned you against exactly the thing that’s gotten you into trouble. They’re understandably reluctant to help dig you out of the hole you dug yourself into despite their advice. Occasionally, however, you get the chance to heed their guidance before it’s too late. This week you can avert disaster. That means ignoring your own whims in favor of your friends’ well-established wisdom.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

It’s not that you’re stingy, exactly. It’s that you resent overpaying for something you know is available cheaper elsewhere. However, when presented with what you know is a good deal, you’ll part with your cash readily enough. This rationalism extends to your emotional life as well—and that can be just as easily misinterpreted. It simply makes sense to you to weigh options and choose the one that gives you the biggest bang for your “buck.” Others, however, might not see situations so pragmatically. This week, it might be better to choose a less-than-ideal deal—because it’s a bargain for someone you love.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Meeting new people excites me, in part because of all the stuff they’re likely to expose me to—from artsy stuff like music, books, and movies to new flavors and experiences that I might never stumble onto on my own. During introductions, I sometimes wonder: What will this person introduce me to? You’d do well to up your curiosity about other people this week. Ask everyone you know: “What are your favorite things?” (I extend that question to you as well. Please send me a list of your five favorite things: sign.language.astrology@gmail.com.) I imagine that at least one of those favorite things you hear about will soon be added to your own list of beloved favorites.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Most Pisceans, whether they admit it or not, spend at least some period of their adult lives looking or longing for someone to take care of them, someone who can help them cope with the sharp edges of harsh reality. Some Pisces find someone willing to play that role, for a time, but most have to learn to deal on their own. What happens, then, when someone comes along and promises to carry some or all of that burden for you, long after you’ve learned to carry it on your own? This week you may be offered something along these lines. What will you decide?

Aries (March 21–April 19)

So many Aries disdain safety measures. Seat belts, bike helmets, and condoms are regularly shunned. I know you like living life with nothing between you and the world (and its inherent risks), but don’t be stupid. Shit can and does happen. I don’t believe in letting fear rule or limit you. But being the victim of foolhardiness or stupidity is hardly the way to go, either. You can’t protect yourself from pain. Suffering is intrinsic to life. But you can prevent a lot of pointless misery, if you’d just swallow your pride and folly for a while. If you can keep yourself—and, by extension, those who love you—safer, you probably should.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

I don’t particularly believe in God or the preposterous theory of intelligent design, but that doesn’t keep me from appreciating the elegance, ingenuity, and beauty of the world we live in. Faith can blind people to logic, but, conversely, a purely rational, scientific approach to life can rob people of their ability to really see and appreciate beauty and grace. Taureans are generally curiously immune to either extreme. No matter how scientific you become, you are never unable to appreciate gorgeousness when you encounter it; and your faith rarely, if ever, blinds you to rationality. A few of those you know could benefit from walking this elegant middle path. Won’t you share it with them?

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

There’s only so much banging against a brick wall your head can (or ought to) take. After a while, you need to let go of your stubbornness and accept that the resistance to whatever you’re up to is not going to yield anytime soon, and give up in favor of trying another tack. This doesn’t mean giving up on your dreams, just on this particular route to (or manifestation of) them. Back away from the wall. Wait for your head to clear from its latest use as battering ram. Then start looking around for other approaches, and try not to kick yourself for not noticing them earlier. You were busy.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Quit waiting for that damn phone to ring. You’ve got to get on with your life, and have enough confidence to truly believe that anyone who’s not getting on the bandwagon is missing out. You can’t force people to enjoy or appreciate what you’ve got on offer. Unless they come to that on their own—and in their own time—it’s meaningless, pointless, and depressing. Of course, by then, it may be too late. I guess that’s just tough shit for them. Not for you, though—you’ll have found some new admirers (who really get you) by then.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Leos need structure. Total freedom is highly overrated. You actually need a schedule and routine more than you admit. You thrive when there are rules to bend, break, or, yes, obey; boundaries to stretch, stray from, or abide by; and obligations to shirk or come through on. A week or three of absolute liberty is a pleasant vacation. More than that, and it’s a restless, unenjoyable limbo. Don’t strive too hard to escape the strictures of your life. Loosen them, maybe—but never forget that resisting them (and using them to harness your strength) is part of what makes you feel alive.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Spontaneity is hard for you. It’s not that you’re inflexible or overly ruffled by the unexpected. You’re actually good in a crisis or surfing chaos. It’s just that you’re so damn busy. Your life is so overscheduled that being spontaneous means blowing off some important task or prearranged meeting; that, in turn, has a domino effect on the rest of your carefully calibrated life. Recovering from half a day of impulsiveness can require a week or more—under normal circumstances. But what if you built a bit of slack time into your schedule, to accommodate the unexpected? You can never know when they’ll occur, but allowing for the (very strong) possibility of surprises this week would definitely be a good idea.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

The No. 1 complaint I hear about Libras is that some people feel they can’t trust you. I don’t think this is because you guys are disloyal friends or especially malicious. It’s that you’re obsessed with being nice. This means (quite often, actually) telling white lies or simply biting your tongue instead of speaking your mind. Many people appreciate that, I’m sure—but there are those of us who can see right through it. It makes you look dishonest when your words (or lack of them) don’t jibe with your vibe. Be aware of your friends who are especially perceptive. With them, you ought to either improve your technique or— better yet—simply be honest, even if it means not being “nice.”

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Don’t let all the resistance you’re likely to experience this week get you down. Take it as a compliment that so many people have allied against you. They think you’re dangerous—and in this case that’s a good thing, because they’re all kinds of messed up. Remember: Just because they outnumber you doesn’t make them right. If you know, in your heart of hearts, that what you’re up to is the good and honorable thing to do—and it’s right for you—please feel free to ignore those who oppose you. They’re just plain wrong, and they’ll apologize for their error in judgment after you prove it.