AH, THE CHICKEN, that magnificent pea-brained squawking fowl, provider of omelets and Ezell’s. But what have these admittedly fine birds to do with me, Urban Gardener, you ask? “Bock bock!” I say! You, my friend, can relish the myriad joys of chicken-keeping, right here in Seattle, in your own backyard (assuming you are lucky enough to have one)!
It is perfectly legal, per Seattle Municipal Code 23.44.048 (Keeping of Animals), section C., Domestic Fowl, which reads: “Up to three (3) domestic fowl may be kept on any lot in addition to the small animals permitted in the preceding subsection [which addresses your regular-type pet dogs and cats as well as Miniature Potbelly pigs]. For each one thousand (1,000) square feet of lot area in excess of the minimum lot area required for the zone, one (1) additional domestic fowl may be kept.”
Got a big lot? Go to town! It had been my vague impression that one was not allowed to keep the noble cock within city limits, due to its insistence on making an unholy racket each and every dawn (that’s not just morning, people, but DAWN). But this bit of misinformation was dispelled by the charming Bradley at the City of Seattle Land Use Information Department. Even though they are a Noise Generator, he said, you may keep them until such time as they are deemed a Public Nuisance (that would be at the first applicable dawn), at which point your angry neighbors may bring the Noise Ordinance into play. And rest assured, City of Seattle Zoning gets many a complaint about roosters. Maybe you can find some way to keep them quiet.
BUT YOU, YES, YOU, can have a chicken—or three. A fine specimen lives right across the street from me, and it’s a busy Capitol Hill street. Her name is Robirda. She is elegant and enormous; allowed free range on pleasant afternoons, she can often be found senselessly pecking, pecking, pecking out on the sidewalk, mere feet away from speeding traffic, her iridescent plumage shining. When I first saw her weirdly walking near the parked cars (pecking, pecking), I was worried (what about the aforementioned pet dogs?). As I drew closer I realized that she was truly and bizarrely huge, a chicken of monstrous proportions, and one who could clearly kick any city dog’s yelping ass. As for the speeding traffic, she seemed to have, for a single-minded creature (pecking endlessly), an oddly good instinct about not crossing the road.
Robirda had a girlfriend, but she was spirited away by raccoons (those mischievous little fur sprites!). According to the good people at Seattle Tilth, raccoons often carry off our urban feathered friends for their deviant purposes, but there are security measures prospective chicken owners can take to prevent this sort of sorrowful occurrence. So, too, can Seattle Tilth guide you in planning your coop, with attention to necessary heat and privacy (which I wasn’t aware chickens required, but there you go), and in understanding a chicken’s basic needs. Per Tilth, many Seattle residents enjoy the fresh eggs, manure for the garden, and hours of entertainment these beady-eyed creatures provide, and so can you: The next Tilth-sponsored City Chickens Workshop is May 27. (Tilth also runs an Urban Chicken Tour—during which you may traipse through the yards of fellow city denizens who keep chickens and gawk at said yards, keepers, and kept—to take place in the fall.)
SO, NO ROOSTERS. But then, whenceforth the sweet baby peeps (the official name for chicks, according to Tilth)? Even city types know you need a rooster to get eggs with those horrible, grotesque chicken fetuses inside, which can then hatch and be cute. But fear not, future delighter in poultry: I hold in my hand the miraculous catalog for the amazing Murray McMurray Hatchery, from which apparently anyone who can dial a phone can fill their entire house, condo, or apartment with a swirling, peeping miasma of fuzzy, tiny baby chickens. (Note: Seattle Weekly does not endorse such an irresponsible undertaking, fun as it sounds.) Murray McMurray, I’m sure to your vast relief, is “Your Poultry Headquarters for the Millennium,” and the catalog is full of glorious color drawings of different kinds of chickens, from the wondrous Golden Penciled Hamburg to the sinister Meat-N-Egg Combo, that you can order. They will actually mail them to you. I’m not sure how this works, though they do say they do not ship orders COD.
For more information contact Seattle Tilth, 633-0451, www.speakeasy.org/~tilth/, and Murray McMurray Hatchery, 800-456-3280.
