Christine Gregoire, Ron Sims, and Greg Nickels walk into a bar, looking to get alcohol for a party.

“What’ll it be?” asks the bartender.

“I think we should get a keg so people can reuse their cups and not be wasteful,” says Sims.

“I think we should get camouflage cans of Miller High Life that blend into the background and don’t spoil the views,” says Nickels.

“I think we should get pints of Schlitz in steel cans,” says Gregoire. The bartender tells her that steel cans are 1950s technology.

“I’d like a giant steel vat of grain alcohol with housing and a food court and a laser-tag course underneath it!” shouts a deliriously drunk Frank Chopp, who wasn’t really invited but has deep pockets.

Several years pass. Sims Twitters. Gregoire plays Big Buck Hunter. Nickels ghostrides the whip on the SLUT. America elects a black president. Finally, because Nickels generally gets what he wants, the group settles on the camo cans, which have since gone up in price. But the cans have to be specially ordered, the bartender says. “You guys’ll have to settle for a keg in the meantime,” he adds.

“Keg’s on me,” says Sims.

“How do you want to pay for the camo cans?” the bartender asks.

Gregoire and Nickels look at one another, and then to Chopp, who’s passed out in the corner. Happy tunneling, Seattle.