FOR SALE Keep your fashion above the Mendoza Line with my hand-woven

March 27, 2014 1:16 pm
FOR SALE Keep your fashion above the Mendoza Line with my hand-woven

FOR SALE Keep your fashion above the Mendoza Line with my hand-woven necklaces. Perfect for a double header or double kegger. Available in two sizes: thick and chunky. Find ordering information online at my Etsy store or at smoakweaves.biz.

WANTED Huge fan in search of one pair of floor-level Bob Seger tickets. Been working on my night moves, trying to lose those awkward third-base blues. Now it’s time to see the legend. Top dollar paid. The closer to the Silver Bullet Band, the better. Contact KyleSeager15@gmail.com.

FOR SALE Gently used elliptical machine. Like new. Must sell fast. Open to trades, including Girl Scout cookies (preferably Samoas). Serious inquiries only. E-mail Jesus Montero for pics at BigMan63@AOL.com.

FREE SMOAKAMOTIVE Not running. You haul. Call Geoff Baker at 206-555-2121.

LAWN-CARE SERVICE You’ve seen us dance at Safeco. Now watch the Mariners dancing field crew shimmy all over your unkempt lawn. Mowing, trimming, pruning, blowing—we do it all with pizzazz! Contact the Mariners marketing department for more info. Also available for birthday parties.

ROOMMATE WANTED Quiet, left-handed pitcher who travels a lot seeks responsible roommate. No pets. No smoking. Must be OK rooming with a man named Furbush. E-mail Charlie at Furbush41@Hotmail.com for more info.

CLASSES NOW FORMING Want to tighten those obliques and achieve that nondescript jawline of a middle-aged white guy you’ve always wanted? Let lead instructor Willie Bloomquist show you the way. Spinning, Zumba, yoga, hip-hop dance: Body by Bloomquist incorporates it all to deliver the results you crave. Classes now forming at the Sammamish YMCA.

ENCOUNTERS Me: Cy Young Award–winning ace on the mound. You: Wearing a yellow T-shirt in the King’s Court. Interested in a close friendship, a K counter, and maybe more. Hopefully you like waffles and low ERAs. Tip your hat to the left if interested.

FOR HIRE Available for odd jobs, temp positions, or pretty much anything that doesn’t put too much strain on my hamstrings. Contact Franklin at GutiForHire@yahoo.com.