Equipped with tomahawk staplers, the beast known as Poster Giant is a real-life terror on Seattle’s streets. Once, while on a valiant independent postering campaign, I encountered a Poster Giant acolyte. “You can’t poster here,” he sneered at me, holding his stapler at the ready and staring me down. “If you try, I’m going to take them down.” Bewildered at his audacity, I retreated to safer ground. The next day, I found 80 percent of my posters torn down, replaced by fliers for a KeyArena show from some deplorable German necromancers who call themselves Rammstein. The local valkyrie guild known as Grrl Army led a noble quest to combat Poster Giant’s misdeeds on Capitol Hill while simultaneously spreading the good word about stopping rape culture. The legendary back-and-forth battle lasted for weeks, with Poster Giant tearing down Grrl Army’s posts as quick as the latter could put them up. Reports from townsfolk at local taverns reveal that Poster Giant claims whole streets as its “territory.” Engaged in ongoing combat with public art and independent bands, the Poster Giant beast has chosen the left-hand path of destruction, covering city-commissioned murals and filling single telephone poles with 32 copies of the same poster, laying waste to those who were there before.