Armbands have too many subversive undertones—and they tend to cover up your Slayer tattoo as well. Hats give you hat head and are frequently worn by douche bags. T-shirt sayings are as ubiquitous and blase as billboards. Showing that you really care about a cause takes a greater leap of faith, one that requires an oversize amount of structural space and metal poles. If flags are the new ringer tee (which they totally are), then Ballard’s All the King’s Flags is the new Urban Outfitters. There’s a lot to love about the discount flag specialists (in business since 1965), but don’t be fooled by the storeroom—they have a lot in stock. And even if they don’t have the right sports team, country, or Confederacy for you to rally behind, they can also order custom flags. May I recommend: “Bought this flag at a thrift store?” I’m telling you, Seattle: A flag with a stupid saying on it is the new stupid-saying-emblazoned T-shirt.—Karla Starr 2000 N.W. Market St., 789-0257, www.allkingsflags.com.