THE ARRIVAL OF SANTA CLAUS
Crass commercialism and Santa are like blood brothers come December. To celebrate this unholy union, Northgate Mall will be hosting Se�Claus chiefly in order to sell elaborately framed photo packages. I miss the Currier & Ives holidays of my youth. Nov. 16-Dec. 24. Northgate Mall, 206-362-4778. NORTHGATE
DON’T YOU WISH YOU WERE A MAN AT CHRISTMAS?
Were you born a man in a woman’s body? As everyone knows, Christmas is the best time to confront issues of transgender identity, which is why Eastside Women’s Forum is proud to present a very special Network Breakfast titled: “Don’t You Wish You Were a Man at Christmas?” There shouldn’t be a dry eye in the house. 6:45 a.m. Nov. 27. 11200 S.E. Sixth St., 425-821-5006. BELLEVUE
SANTA PHOTO COTTAGE
If you haven’t read David Sedaris’ uproarious essay “The Santaland Diaries,” you may still harbor feelings of sentimentality toward shopping-mall Santas. Record “a special moment with Santa” thanks to modern photographic technology. Free. Nov. 29- Dec. 24. 575 Bellevue Square, 425-460-5932. BELLEVUE
VOICES OF CHRISTMAS
This theatrical experience allegedly involves music and merriment, not to mention multicultural musings and many moving moments. $24 ($10 for those under 25). Nov. 29-Dec. 24. 4711 California Ave. S.W., 206-938-0339. WEST SEATTLE
HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS 5: CINCO DE PORKO
For those who like their holiday entertainment irreverent and pork-related, local theater dynamos Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt present “another steamin’ helping of ham” with their sketch-comedy show. Themes to be addressed include pet psychics and airport security. $18/$20. Nov. 29-Dec. 29. 409 Seventh Ave. S., 206-325-6500. CHINATOWN/ INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT
BELLEVUE AGLOW
If free things that glow are near the top of your holiday wish list, then journey to downtown Bellevue to see buildings, plant life, and even construction cranes (!) decked out in seasonal style. Free. Nov. 29-Dec. 31. Downtown 425-453-1223. BELLEVUE
ADOPT-A-FAMILY
Amidst all the holiday receiving, maybe some serious giving would be in order. Organized by Overlake Service League. Any questions? Nov. 29-Dec. 31. For information, call 425-451-1175. BELLEVUE
SINGLES HOLIDAY DANCE PARTY
From the skeeziest singles publication in the Northwest—the recent headline “From Ukraine, With Love” was accompanied by a photo of what appeared to be a mail-order bride—comes the Singles Holiday Dance Party. For those eligible hotties who cannot do the hustle, there will be a “free, interactive hustle dance lesson” before things get hot and heavy. $20/$25. 7:30 p.m. Nov. 30. Hilton Conference Center, 176th Ave. S. and Pacific Highway S., 206-824-8900. DES MOINES
HOLIDAY MUSIC AT BELLEVUE GALLERIA
Area bands and choirs of rosy-cheeked children will strut their stuff at Bellevue Galleria, where hot apple cider and cookies should make a nice complement to the music. And, after all, aren’t shopping malls what this crazy holiday season is really about? Free. 3-5 p.m. Nov. 30. 550 106th Ave. N.E., 425-322-1610. BELLEVUE
WORKSHOPS AT BAM
Make yourself useful this holiday season. Attend free workshops at Bellevue Art Museum and learn toy making and improvisational puppetry, two skills that never fail to save the day when Christmas and its fellow winter festivities draw near. Free. Nov. 30. BAM, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., 425-519-0770. BELLEVUE
WINTER WINDS IV
If you’re craving a holiday event whose name sounds like one of those soporific New Age albums, try this performance by Washington Wind Symphony that promises to be “delightful.” Dec. 1. 350 Kirkland Ave., 425-828-0422. KIRKLAND
ISSAQUAH REINDEER FESTIVAL
Once you’ve looked a reindeer in the eye, there’s no turning back. Adopt one at the Issaquah Reindeer Festival, a celebration of all things antlered, shaggy, and enslaved by Santa. $7/$8. Dec. 1-23. Cougar Mountain Zoo, 19525 S.E. 54th St., 425-392-6278. ISSAQUAH
ARGOSY CHRISTMAS SHIP FESTIVAL
True to the first three letters of its name, Seattle is a sea-crazy town, and the Christmas season presents us with a special opportunity to enjoy “the largest holiday flotilla in the world.” The Argosy Christmas Ship Festival is obviously exciting enough to be trademarked, so why not saunter down to Pier 55 and enjoy “thousands of white lights” and “holiday songs that are broadcast via speaker?” $16-28. Dec. 1-23. Pier 55, Suite 201, 206-623-1445. www.argosycruises.com DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
GARDEN D’LIGHTS
The holiday season just doesn’t feel complete without hundreds of thousands of lights, and Bellevue Botanical Garden assures us that this year’s edition of “Garden d’Lights” will be nothing less than a “nationally recognized display of brilliance”—400,000 glowing orbs can’t be wrong. Free. Dec. 1-31. 12001 Main St., 425-451-3755. BELLEVUE
CIVIC LIGHTS WINTER CELEBRATION
Sensory overload can be yours at this seventh annual event. Assorted decorations, seasonal music, art activities, story time, photos with Mr. Claus, and Kettle Korn will be available for kids and their parents/guardians for the low, low price of free. Bring nonperishable food donations and Santa might even listen to you this year. Free. 6:30-9 p.m. Dec. 5. Civic Center Campus, 19100 44th Ave. W., 425-771-4030. LYNNWOOD
GLORIA! A FESTIVAL OF CHRISTMAS
The works of Palestrina, Poulenc, and Hammerschmidt are performed by the Seattle University choirs. Come bask in the glow of antiquity and pretty, pretty candlelight. $6/$14. 8 p.m. Dec. 6. 18th Ave. E. and E. Aloha St., 206-296-5372. CAPITOL HILL
HANUKKAH COMMUNITY SHABBAT DINNER
Every holiday calendar needs a token Hanukkah listing, and this is ours. Join the good people of Congregation Beth Shalom to celebrate the last of those eight crazy nights. $10 ($5 for children ages 4-12). 6 p.m. Dec. 6 (RSVP by Nov. 27). 6800 35th Ave. N.E., 206-524-0075. WEDGWOOD
A DEMENTED COOL YULE
If Kirkland and dementia figure into your December plans, look no further than this seasonal performance by legendary radio personality Dr. Demento. $10-$20. Dec. 6-7. 350 Kirkland Ave., 425-828-0422. KIRKLAND
SEATTLE SAMPLING ARTS & CRAFTS TOUR
More than 60 artists are participating in this show, which encompasses the entire city and promises to be heaven on earth for the arts ‘n’ crafts-inclined. Free. Dec. 6-8. Check www.seattlesampling.com for studio locations, or call 206-322-2049. VARIOUS NEIGHBORHOODS
HOLIDAY SHOW AT SEWARD PARK ART STUDIO
Smokin’ hot pottery fresh from the kiln can be yours at this show and sale. This co-op has been around for more than two decades, producing both “functional and sculptural pottery,” and includes more than 25 local ceramic artists—none of whom was involved in that dreadful scene from Ghost. $10. Dec. 6-24. 5900 Lake Washington Blvd. S., 206-722-6342. SEWARD PARK
HUTCH HOLIDAY GALA
Extravagant soir饳 are much less guilt- inducing when they’re for a good cause, and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center’s annual holiday gala is no exception. Fight cancer, indulge magnificently—everybody wins. $400. 5 p.m. Dec. 7. Sheraton Seattle Hotel and Towers, Pike St. and Sixth Ave., 206-667-6388. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
JAZZ NUTCRACKER
After winning this year’s Essentially Ellington Competition, the Roosevelt High School Jazz Band returns to give its third annual performance of Ellington’s Jazz Nutcracker at Benaroya Hall. $15 ($10 for students/seniors). 7:30 p.m. Dec. 7; 2 p.m. Dec. 8. Third Ave. and Union St., 206-292-ARTS. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
Choir of the Sound, one of the oldest collections of singing people in the Puget Sound area, presents its 26th annual holiday concert. Call me sentimental, but the whole thing sounds kind of nice. $14/$16. 3 p.m. Dec. 7-8. 15343 25th Ave. N.E., 206-528-9990. SHORELINE
CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS IN SCANDINAVIA
Enjoy some serious yuletide revelry at the Nordic Heritage Museum’s event, which features activities from a simpler time. “Dancing around the Christmas tree” should be a riot. Free. 1-3:30 p.m. Dec. 8. 3014 N.W. 67th St., 206-789-5707. BALLARD
HOLIDAY ART AND GIFT SHOW
Yet another art show by yet another Cap Hill art gallery is certainly cause for celebration. After all, art makes a lovely gift, and what other gallery can offer you such treasures as “bejeweled bear ornaments” and “snazzy coasters?” Noon-5 p.m. Dec. 8-22. 1216 10th Ave., 206-323-0557. CAPITOL HILL
AN A CAPPELLA HOLIDAY SENSATION
If you love the unadorned human voice and have some level of tolerance for groups with bad puns for names, you’ll just adore this concert. $10-18. 8 p.m. Dec. 13-14. 350 Kirkland Ave., 425-828-0422. KIRKLAND
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
Scrooge is a stingy, stingy man. See him get what’s coming to him, again, at Kent Phillips’ new musical adaptation of the Dickens perennial, a work that was absolutely begging to be musically readapted for the new millennium. $12-20. Dec. 20-29. 350 Kirkland Ave., 425-828-0422. KIRKLAND
SEATTLE SINGS MESSIAH
Experiencing the post-Christmas blues? Handel’s Messiah is a surefire pick-me-up. Seattle Outreach Arts has assembled “1,000 enthusiastic singers of all ages” along with a professional orchestra to make this the best Messiah ever. $9/$10. 7 p.m. Dec. 28. Town Hall, Eighth Ave. and Seneca St., 206-525-0036. DOWNTOWN SEATTLE
