John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for the Long Winters. His column runs in SW’s Reverb Monthly (look for the May issue tomorrow). He Tweets @johnroderick.Q: We’ve met several times, but most notably when we performed with each other at the Nirvana Nevermind concert at EMP. Do you remember that “thing” we talked about? Because I meant every word and have been awaiting a response.
— Chris Cunningham, vocalist, Ravenna WoodsRoderick: Do you mean when you asked me to produce your next record for $15,000 and I said I’d think about it? Well, I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided I’ll do it. I’m confirming here in the newspaper, which is the same as a notarized contract. PayPal me the money and we’ll get started. Can I borrow your beard and your ukulele for Folklife?– Shelby Earl, singer/songwriterRoderick: I’m sorry, but my beard and ukulele are licensed elements of my brand, not for hire. I’ve suffered significant copyright infringement over the last several years, as every single male musician in America is now slouchy, bearded, dirty-haired, soft, sardonic, wise beyond their years, ukulele-playing, and wearing vintage glasses that need to be cleaned. By my calculations, I am owed one hundred trillion dollars in “vibe” royalties. If I were you, I’d be careful that no one steals the “flowered dress and cowboy boots” thing that you stole from Maria McKee.