I had an eye-opening experience during my first trip to SXSW in 2010. I’d maneuvered my way through several rude security guards into this bar where they were hosting a hip-hop showcase. I knew a couple of acts on the bill, but I was really there to hang out with some of my friends. One thing I noticed almost immediately was that Cat and I were the only women in this 250-capacity venue. I looked around and most of the men were wearing similar outfits: a pair of expensive tennis shoes, jeans, a T-shirt, and a fitted baseball cap.

The showcase began and all the men roared in excitement, stretching their arms out with palms facing downward and waving in “hip-hop hands” fashion. The songs performed included themes like “Trust no bitch,” “Me and my niggas,” and “Leave your woman at home.” Slurs of all kinds were tossed around with disdain for men that looked like women but, overall, praise for gangsterism.

YG. Photo courtesy Def Jam

This music I am referring to is so anti-woman that it comes full circle in praising all manliness. As I stood there taking in the scene, I realized that their lyrics were not only homophobic but conversely homophilic: men aggressively appreciating the company of other men.

This kind of music is generally discussed as being problematic because of the vernacular, but I’d never realized how much it praised men. Music for men, made by men and only appreciated by men.

I decided to dig into some lyrics, and what I found was pretty astonishing. Two songs called “My Nigga,” with similar themes, show that some rappers would rather use the L word with men than women:

If you love yo’ nigga, hug yo’ nigga,

Look ’em dead in the eye,

And tell yo’ nigga,

tell that nigga you love ’em (you love them).

—“My Nigga” by K Camp feat. Lil Boosie (2006)

In this song, Boosie certainly lets us know how he feels about his male comrades. He not only shows them, he tells them that he loves them. This is something that we don’t see when he refers to women or “bad bitches.” Boosie’s song is about 10 years old, but these ideas haven’t gone anywhere. Many modern hip-hop music videos have even done away with the “video girl” trope. We are now seeing music videos featuring only men, often shirtless, saggin’ pants, dancing around together. Women are pushed to the side completely:

First things first, I love all of my niggas,

This rap shit crack, then I involve my niggas . . .

You know I’m down with the niggas down for me,

I got two words for you, love and loyalty . . .

Tryna leave my nigga, shawty see me and wanna leave with a nigga,

But it wasn’t enough room ’cause I came with my niggas.

—“My Nigga” by YG (2014)

This entire song is an anthem for man-love. An ode to man-for-man friendship. YG, Young Jeezy, and Rich Homie Quan list all the things they do for and with their homies. With their word choice, I’m assuming they aren’t talking about women when they say “my nigga” because they use words like “shawty” and “bitch” to describe them. In that last line, they say that a woman tried to to leave with them, but there wasn’t enough room for her with all their male friends in tow. I was intrigued by their use of the phrase “love and loyalty” toward their fellow men. If you take away the beats and rapping, this song reads like a love poem.

I’m a woman and I love women. I also love men. I love the genderless and genderqueer. I find no fault in honoring the people I love by creating music that expresses my adoration. In our music video “QueenS,” directed by dream hampton, we intentionally highlighted black women enjoying each other’s company without the male gaze, imagery often not seen in music videos. By doing this we were able to provide visibility and hopefully open minds to different possibilities within the hip-hop genre.

The contradiction lies in the belittling of women and the disgust for homosexual men while engaging in extreme love for your “niggas.” Why should a celebration of manhood coincide with the degradation of womanhood? Is it guy code? Maybe it’s something I’ll never get a chance to understand. In the past I’ve been able to turn off lyrics in my head when the beat is undeniably great, but I’m getting too old to do that now. I’m annoyed and tired with hip-hop’s he-man-woman-hater style.

music@seattle weekly.com