Yep, real life really can be this retro.?The Place: Hattie’s Hat, 5231 Ballard Avenue NW, 206-784-0175.The Hours: 3 – 7PM and 10 -12 PM, err’day. The Digs: In a neighborhood cobbled together with equal parts chic and charm, Hattie’s Hat keeps it defiantly old school. Walking into the narrow, shadowy chute of an entrance, you willingly step into a Twilight Zone where the ultra-modern gleam of neighboring wine bars, boutiques and other imposed acts of bourgeois cease to exist. The place is dark and wooden with a slight, stirring musk to it. (Or is that smell coming from the guy with the outlandishly curled mustache babbling to himself in the corner?) The bar top itself was hand-carved in France and installed here in 1904, meaning there’s a legacy embedded in the very fabric of Hattie’s Hat of getting Ballard shwasted for over a century. It’s kind of like drinking in an antique shop, except for that flat screen TV, which when I went was showing No Country For Old Men with subtitles.The Deal: The Happy Hour eats at the Hat are standard and straightforward: fries for $2; sweet potato fries for $3; quesadillas, hot wings and nachos for $4 each. The two most notable daily offerings are a hearty, cheesy slab of Spinach Casserole and the golden-fried delicacy that is the Fish Taco, both $3. They’ve also got salads (green and Ceasar) for $4, and they are very proud to report that they have always made their own dressing. Well drinks are $4, beers on tap (from the Maritime IPA to a Guinness) are $3, and you can cop a PBR for $1.75. And if you’re the kind of patron who prefers your meat red and your drinks stiff, Mondays are the only days to go: from 3 – 9 PM, you can get a $5 burger, as well as a generously poured Luksusowa Martini or Maker’s Manhattan for $5. The Verdict: Hattie’s got no gimmicks under her brim, and it manages to be both dignified and divey while serving up some dependable, fabulously affordable fare. It’s vintage in a way that Capitol Hill’s knockoff decors can only feign, and I presume it’ll be packed to the gills when Seattle Weekly’s own Reverbfest descends upon Ballard this weekend.