Top Chef seems to be a magnet for bad holiday meals and

November 21, 2012 12:00 am
10. Season 2's Thanksgiving dinner, where half the chefs cooked for the others, was such a gift to viewers, it gives us miracles 10-7. Let the count begin! Anthony Bourdain was the judge for the evening, and started us out by saying, I'm looking forward to smashing the hopes and dreams and ambitions [of the contestants]. Luckily the food was so bad he could: That was so perverse, so inappropriate, I'm almost beginning to respect [the chef] and What kind of crack-house are you running here?
10. Season 2's Thanksgiving dinner, where half the chefs cooked for the others, was such a gift to viewers, it gives us miracles 10-7. Let the count begin! Anthony Bourdain was the judge for the evening, and started us out by saying, I'm looking forward to smashing the hopes and dreams and ambitions [of the contestants]. Luckily the food was so bad he could: That was so perverse, so inappropriate, I'm almost beginning to respect [the chef] and What kind of crack-house are you running here?

Top Chef seems to be a magnet for bad holiday meals and pitting chefs against each other, and each episode is a miracle of television as unique as a snowflake …About this column: A retrospective tour of Top Chef’s delicious history, Top Shit is a weekly feature honoring the Seattle season of our favorite show ever. Got something to say? Contact Miss En Place at flambethis@outlook.comPublished on November 21, 2012

8. In the human pressure cooker that is Top Chef, sometimes the pressure gets too high ... and the chefs cover each other in chocolate.

8. In the human pressure cooker that is Top Chef, sometimes the pressure gets too high … and the chefs cover each other in chocolate.

7. The episode ends with a screaming match between Marcel and Betty that really encapsulates the holiday spirit fostered by the challenge: I'm still selfish and you're still a bitch ... I hope you fucking go home.

7. The episode ends with a screaming match between Marcel and Betty that really encapsulates the holiday spirit fostered by the challenge: I’m still selfish and you’re still a bitch … I hope you fucking go home.

6. Season 5's chefs had to cook a Thanksgiving meal of epic proportions for the Foo Fighters ... outside ... in microwaves and hotplates ... in the rain ... and, worst of all, including dishes for VEGETARIANS.

6. Season 5’s chefs had to cook a Thanksgiving meal of epic proportions for the Foo Fighters … outside … in microwaves and hotplates … in the rain … and, worst of all, including dishes for VEGETARIANS.

5. Luckily their hard work paid off when the chefs got to see the Foo Fighters concert ...

5. Luckily their hard work paid off when the chefs got to see the Foo Fighters concert …

... well, the winners did, while the losing chefs were forced to clean up the entire operation as the Foo carols echoed in the empty dining hall.

… well, the winners did, while the losing chefs were forced to clean up the entire operation as the Foo carols echoed in the empty dining hall.

4. A Season 2 Christmas team challenge gone wrong led to this festive quote from Mia: Throw me under the bus, I don't give a fuck ... so put your dick away dude, you have fucking immunity, before she removed herself from the competition.

4. A Season 2 Christmas team challenge gone wrong led to this festive quote from Mia: Throw me under the bus, I don’t give a fuck … so put your dick away dude, you have fucking immunity, before she removed herself from the competition.

3. In one Christmas challenge the food was so atrociously bad Santa Colicchio himself came to tell all the chefs they were on the naughty list, saying, Are you happy with everything you did tonight?...I can't believe you are ... we're looking for amazing food, not a little throwaway canape.

3. In one Christmas challenge the food was so atrociously bad Santa Colicchio himself came to tell all the chefs they were on the naughty list, saying, Are you happy with everything you did tonight?…I can’t believe you are … we’re looking for amazing food, not a little throwaway canape.

2. One of Season 5's many Christmas miracles was the appearance of Martha Stewart, whose icy presence and frequent interrupting of the chefs was somehow heartwarming.

2. One of Season 5’s many Christmas miracles was the appearance of Martha Stewart, whose icy presence and frequent interrupting of the chefs was somehow heartwarming.

1. Okay, here's an actual miracle for the season. When fridges were left open overnight, destroying multiple dishes for a Christmas challenge, all the cheftestants lend a hand so everybody could compete equally ... and in honor of that nobody was sent home. (That may have also been because the food was so bad the judges couldn't pick just one loser. Basically, this is a miracle for multiple reasons).

1. Okay, here’s an actual miracle for the season. When fridges were left open overnight, destroying multiple dishes for a Christmas challenge, all the cheftestants lend a hand so everybody could compete equally … and in honor of that nobody was sent home. (That may have also been because the food was so bad the judges couldn’t pick just one loser. Basically, this is a miracle for multiple reasons).