Tips and Treats for the Cannabis-Inclined on Halloween

Get your Stoned Jeff Sessions costume ready.

This will probably come as no surprise, but Halloween is my favorite time of year. Dressing up, eating too much candy, and acting a fool are high on my list of Fun Shit to Do. And for any of you cannabis connoisseurs who haven’t outgrown the spookiest holiday of them all, you can be sure there’s plenty of stoney shenanigans to get up to. But for those who need help getting the holiday sprit rolling, I do have a few tips.

Two words: PUMPKIN BONG. You kind of need this in your life. It’s silly and fun, and you will get high as hell. You will need: a pumpkin. Literally any size, from tiny to massive. You will also need a bowl and stem from a bong. Cut a hole in the top of the pumpkin, big enough that you can get in and scoop out the guts. Set the top aside. Scoop out the guts and set those aside too. Once your pumpkin has been stripped of its innards, look at your pumpkin and find a “front” and a “back.” Using a small, sharp, serrated knife, cut a quarter-size hole in the “back” somewhere near the top—this is where you will inhale. On the “front” side, cut a hole slightly larger than your bong stem. Rinse your pumpkin and top inside and out and let dry for a couple hours. Put a tiny pinch of clove, cinnamon, or coriander in the bottom. Replace the top, slide your bongstem in, load with weed, enjoy. This will beat your pumpkin spiced latte any day.

Weed-inspired costumes are more popular—and acceptable—than ever before. There are plenty of classics, even if a few of them are a little stale. “Towlie” from South Park is a standard by now. For couples there is always a Bong and Bag-of-Weed—a hit at any frat party in the country. Slightly more amusing costumes include Stoned Jeff Sessions, Martha Stewart and Snoop, or simply melting yourself down into a puddle and going as dabs. Officially out: white people dressing up as Cheech and Chong or just wearing a dreadlock wig as a “costume.” In: Sexy Male Budtender—think stoney Chippendales, just a green bowtie and a smile.

Last but not least, candy and sweets are pretty much synonymous with Halloween, so if there’s an infused treat recipe you’ve been wanting to try, now is a great time. If you’re feeling brave, you can try to make some High Hard Candy or Lifted Lollipops. The blog wakeandbake.com posted a surprisingly easy recipe for this notoriously hard treat earlier this year, using a tincture as the weed carrier. To make single-dose candies, look at the number of pieces the recipe is supposed to make and add that many doses of tincture to your recipe. To make mellower candies, divide the doses by two for a half dose per piece of candy, or four for a quarter dose per piece. Or, if you are a fan of cannabutters, you can make cookies or cannabutter frosting for cupcakes. You can even use cannabis-infused coconut oil to make the cupcakes. Make sure you take advantage of flavor profiles. Orange, pear, cinnamon, clove, anise, and fig are all traditional at this time of year and can all be found in classic strains like Tangerine, Love Potion #9, and Licorice Kush. Or just take the easy route; Evergreen Organix makes a cinnamon flavored tincture perfectly suited for culinary use. Just make sure that the resulting goodies go where they belong: into the bellies of adults.

stashbox@seattleweekly.com

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