Illustration by James Stanton

Illustration by James Stanton

The Great Pumpkin Bong

This will beat your pumpkin spice latte any day.

Halloween is by far my favorite time of year, and it’s coming up next week. Dressing up in crazy costumes, causing a ruckus, and scaring the shit out of people are high on my list of fun stuff to do. And for any cannabis connoisseurs who haven’t outgrown the spookiest holiday of them all, you can be sure there are plenty of stoney shenanigans to get up to.

First, let’s get some costumes on. Weed-inspired outfits are more popular—and acceptable—than ever. There are plenty of classics, even if a few are a little hackneyed. Somewhat more inventive costumes include Canadian CannaBusiness Person Turned Back at the Border, Out of Work Trimmer, or using a torch to melt yourself into a puddle and go as dabs.

I know you think you know what makes a killer party, but you wanna really turn things up? Two words: PUMPKIN BONG.

You kind of want this in your life. It’s stupid and goofy, and you will get high as hell. You need a pumpkin, literally any size. You will also need a bowl and stem from a bong. Cut a hole in the top big enough to be able to get in. Set the lid aside. Shovel out the guts. Rinse your pumpkin and top inside and out and let dry for a couple hours. Cut a quarter-size hole in the “back” somewhere near the top—this is where you will inhale. On the “front” side, cut a hole for your bong stem. Make sure there’s a tight seal around the stem. Put a small pinch of cinnamon or coriander in the bottom and one or two drops of vanilla or orange essential oil. Replace the lid, slide your bong stem in, pack with weed, enjoy. This will beat your pumpkin spice latte any day.

For bonus points, clean the pumpkin seeds and toss them with a mix of olive oil, garlic, black pepper, and sea salt—or melted butter, allspice, nutmeg, and clove. Spread them on an oiled cookie sheet and bake at 300°F for 30-45 minutes—basically until they are a little golden and have a nice snappy crispness. When they’ve cooled slightly, toss again with a hearty dose of kief.

Speaking of snack treats, candy and sweets are pretty much synonymous with Halloween, so if there’s an infused recipe you’ve been craving to try, now is a perfect time. Since they were just banned, you can attempt to make some High Hard Candy or Lifted Lollipops. The blog Wake and Bake posted a surprisingly simple recipe for this notoriously tricky treat, using a tincture as the weed carrier. Remember to dial in your dosage: Take the number of pieces the recipe is supposed to create and add that many doses of tincture to your recipe. To make mellower sweets, divide the doses by two for a half-dose per piece of candy, or four for a quarter-dose.

If you are a cannabutter enthusiast, make cookies or cannabutter frosting for cupcakes. You can even use cannabis-infused coconut oil in the cupcakes. Make sure you take advantage of flavor profiles. Pomegranate, pear, cinnamon, clove, anise, and fig are all traditional at this time of year and can all be found in classic strains like Tangerine, Love Potion #9, and Licorice Kush. Or just take the easygoing route: Evergreen Organix makes a cinnamon-flavored tincture quite suited for culinary use.

stashbox@seattleweekly.com