It’s that time of week when we answer the questions you’re too drunk or shy to ask…This question comes from Claire:

How far in advance do you need to be asked out for it to be OK to say yes to a date? I’m really interested in this one guy, but he only asks me out when he runs into me. I see him at work most Fridays. Is that too late?I try to stay away from dating and pickup advice, don’t want to step on Dategirl’s super insightful toes, but this topic is a personal pet peeve of mine. Seattle men (and women, let’s face it…) can be a frustratingly noncommittal bunch. On the other hand, grownups lead busy lives. So, let me drop the definitive rule to the impromptu ask-out for friends, boy-, girl-, or otherwise: Anything less than 48 hours does not an invitation make.If you leave things until the last minute or accept last-minute invites regularly, you are telling people that it’s OK to put you off. In effect, you are teaching them how to treat you. It’s accepted that if you only ever see a guy at the, ahem, end of the night that nothing can really ever come of the arrangement, right? Well, same outcome generally applies to last-minute get-togethers. If you always make yourself available at the last minute, what’s the incentive for someone to ever offer an honest-to-goodness invitation? Now, spontaneity is perfectly fine; sometimes that’s the only way two busy kids can come together in this crazy world. It’s all about what you’re comfortable with, your mindset, and how you accept. If both parties are fine with the extemporaneous, then it’s A-OK, but dollars to doughnuts this sort of stylish relationship rarely satisfies both people.You can own this rule or blow it based on how you decline an invite. “I typically need more notice with my schedule” is an explanation that comes with an implicit command. It says, if you don’t plan ahead to get me, you won’t. On the flip side, “Why don’t you ever ask me out on a real date?” just points to the pink elephant in the question, and also sounds needy. If you really want to date someone, you don’t want to berate, you want to train — excuse me — teach the person how to treat you. I apply this same 48-hour rule to friends and acquaintances, too, and it’s liberating. I used to feel pressured or obligated if I said no too many times to someone’s last-minute invites, feeling bad that we never seemed to get together. Once I stopped seeing these last-minute emails and texts as invites, I ditched any and all guilt about only doing what I wanted when I wanted. Got a question for the bartender, email me at msavarino@seattleweekly.com.