It’s that time of week when we answer the questions you’re to drunk or shy to ask…This question comes from Jen: I tried making a dirty martini at home and loved the light salty flavor, it seemed to make the vodka taste smoother. My friend says it’s uncouth to order these in a bar. Also, does it make a difference what vodka I use?I love the word uncouth, and your friend is partially right. Order whatever the hell you want at the bar, but most bartenders see the dirty martini as the mark of a drinker who can’t handle straight vodka. Dirty martini drinkers get an immediate “person of interest” mental file from me, as they carry a better than average probability of becoming bad drunks, but who cares what the bartender thinks? You could just as easily say that an old-fashioned is another way to make bourbon more palatable.To answer the second part of your question: No. The salty brine kills any and all nuance; so go cheap. Dirty martinis make a fine way to drink hard at happy hour, when well drinks are cheapest. Just watch where you order one of these things. Bar olives usually come from a giant jar that lives in the fridge for weeks. Having grown up watching the world’s ugliest bartender dig her grimy mitts into the confines while filling the condiment tray, I never touch the stuff. (at right, the only Dirty Martini worth fancying)Got a question for the bartender? Email me at mdutton@seattleweekly.com.