It’s that time of week when we answer the questions you’re to drunk or shy to ask…This question comes from Stan: We were out to dinner the other night and ordered a bottle of wine. Our server poured the bottle into glasses that were already on the table (red wine glasses). The couple next to us must have ordered the “right wine” because their glasses were whisked away and replaced with fancier glasses that were far bigger than ours. Is this common? And if glasses make a difference, then why not just serve all wine with better glasses?Oh Stan, it’s amazing how many of the questions I get have a lot to do with restaurant practices and feeling awkward and little to do with any desire for knowledge. The ritual you described is one I find equal parts annoying, ridiculous, and shitty…It is said that Charlie Trotter, arguably one of the greatest chefs in America, never fawns over a table of VIPs or celebrities without compensating other tables within earshot. I have witnessed this. The philosophy behind that very classy move: Never make one guest feel special at the expense of another. That just seems like common sense, no?Welcome to the restaurant business. Many restaurants have three glasses; for sparkling, red, and white wines. Some restaurants drop cash on special, bulbous “fuck you” glasses to make the people who order $300 bottles of Barolo feel maximum smugness about their purchase. Such is life. Do these glasses make a difference? Perhaps to a very small group of uptight snobs with no life. I’m not too shy to say that I’ve got a wicked smart palate, and I think not.At home, I use Spieglau pinot noir glasses for everything ($8 each on sale). Although, if I break a few more I’m going to downshift back to snifters from Goodwill. It’s not the kind of glass that matters, just the size and shape. There are glassware companies pushing all manner of shapes for every grape and wine imaginable, but it really just comes down to one shape for most wines.The pinot noir glass (like a brandy snifter on stilts) makes every wine taste better or, more accurately, brings out the aroma and flavors of every wine because the shape of the glass collects the smells from the wine. For some cheap wines this isn’t an issue. Think about it, fine cognac goes into a snifter, Old Crow a shot glass. All you need is a glass big enough and cupped enough to collect those aromas, period. Sommeliers will spin all sorts of BS to the contrary, but then their job is to sell you stuff, including “the experience” of paying 400% more for a bottle of wine in a restaurant.I say if you can’t afford a nice glass for everyone, than tough shit. And, really, in these trying times that restaurant should be lucky to have you as a customer. Don’t you ever, ever let anyone make you feel bad about spending your hard earned money. Ever.Next time Stan, do what I do: Put on your best innocent eyes and ask the manager why you didn’t get those big glasses with your wine. Because it’s fun to watch people squirm.Got a question for the bartender? Email me at mdutton@seattleweekly.com.