The Watering Hole: Loretta’s Northwesterner, 8617 14th Ave. S., SOUTH PARK
The Atmosphere: Thanks to the closure of the South Park Bridge, it may take a few U-turns and head-scratches to figure out an alternate route to Loretta’s that won’t have you winding up in the back roads of Tukwila. But those holding out ’til the end will be pleasantly surprised. Inside, fishing memorabilia adorn the dark-paneled walls, while the glow behind vintage lampshades creates eerie shadows on the faces of young couples and old-timers alike.
The Barkeep: Amee Shepard. Satisfied that she is no longer “landlocked,” the Kansan tended bar at Hattie’s Hat for nine years, and isn’t shy about speaking her mind. “I don’t have the beat-around-the-bush mentality,” she says with a smile, adding, “I hate when people are, like, ‘It’s hot in here,’ and I’ll be, like, ‘So? Why don’t you just tell me to turn the AC up then?”
The Drink: The Poor Man’s Piña Colada. Made with the same ingredients as a traditional piña colada (Malibu rum, pineapple juice, and cream, shaken), its presentation is less glamorous. Instead of being served with extravagant fruit garnishes or in a pineapple filled to the brim, the Poor Man’s Piña Colada stresses simplicity: a pint glass adorned with only a colored straw for tropical flair.
The Verdict: The frothy, sweet drink is light and disappears quickly with a few deep slurps. Though patrons can’t enjoy the concoction amid palm trees or sandy beaches, Loretta’s does come fully equipped with a furnished trailer in its backyard. Decorated with retro furniture and even a TV, the metal hut presents an entirely new landscape to unwind in. In warmer weather, the outdoor bar makes for some crowded drink-fetching, allowing the silver tank to become a prime getaway and a perfect piña colada hot spot.
