John Metcalfe

When Cutting Yourself, Use the Right Kind of Blade

From the little I know about cutting, I’m guessing the goal isn't to put someone in the hospital. Last week, a King County prosecutor dropped… Continue reading

 

From the little I know about cutting, I?m guessing the goal isn’t

From the little I know about cutting, I?m guessing the goal isn't to put someone in the hospital. Last week, a King County prosecutor dropped… Continue reading

 

Had a knife confiscated by airport security? Head to Auburn!

Stocking Stuffers Courtesy of TSA, and Your Pocket

Those knives and box cutters you tried to carry on the plane are for sale in Auburn.

Had a knife confiscated by airport security? Head to Auburn!
SPD’s new reporting system will make pen, paper, and prose a thing of the past.

What’s Harder: The WASL or SPD Paperwork?

Your neighborhood cop is about to find out.

SPD’s new reporting system will make pen, paper, and prose a thing of the past.
The Sucklemeister.

Pike Street All-Stars

Meet the dazzling denizens who put the “no” in downtown's most notorious corridor.

The Sucklemeister.
Wexley Day earlier this month.

Quiz: Is Wexley School for Girls a Restaurant, an Ad Agency, or a College Preparatory Institution?

Hint: The service sucks, the chickens are fake, and it's not a joke.

Wexley Day earlier this month.
An Evening With Faggedy Randy

An Evening With Faggedy Randy

Don't bother washing up.

An Evening With Faggedy Randy
I Ate This: Rowdy's BBQ Sundae

I Ate This: Rowdy’s BBQ Sundae

What: BBQ Sundae Where: Rowdy Cowgirl BBQ, 3620 Stone Way N., 954-1100, www.rowdycowgirl.com. FREMONT Cost: $7.95 Would I eat it again? Probably not. Southern delicacies… Continue reading

I Ate This: Rowdy's BBQ Sundae
All hail Kim Jong Il!

Crossing the Line: What Kind of a Jerk Would Defect to North Korea? Oh…

In 1962, U.S. Army Pvt. James Dresnok walked north across the Korean demilitarized zone, firing upon his own troops as he deserted. Now he's reportedly… Continue reading

All hail Kim Jong Il!
His face free of effluent here, Dan Dunlop claims he’s been the victim of on-the-job hazing.

How One Man Got Shitfaced Without a Single Drink

Seattle Public Utilities employee is suing over an alleged hazing incident that left him covered in crap.

His face free of effluent here, Dan Dunlop claims he’s been the victim of on-the-job hazing.
Miranda: a solitary man.

The Teenage Jehovah’s Witness, and His Tribute to the Man in Black

Emmanuel “Vinny” Miranda takes the stage as “Juanny Cash, the 15-Year-Old Johnny Cash Prodigy.”

Miranda: a solitary man.
“Fried Footballs” at Maekawa

“Fried Footballs” at Maekawa

Trying to digest an International District disaster.

“Fried Footballs” at Maekawa
Pepperoni pizzas can turn a pig’s frown upside down.

Bacon Doesn’t Recommend Pigs for Everyone

They're smart, hungry, and can hurt you!

Pepperoni pizzas can turn a pig’s frown upside down.
Pygmy Goats: Not in My Neighborhood

Pygmy Goats: Not in My Neighborhood

A notorious Seattle pet-control activist comes out of hibernation for the fight.

Pygmy Goats: Not in My Neighborhood
Let’s Goat Crazy!

Let’s Goat Crazy!

Pygmy goats are awfully cute, but is the City Council’s bid to equate them with cats and dogs such a good idea in a modern metropolis?

Let’s Goat Crazy!
A Potentially Deadly Catch, Only $13

A Potentially Deadly Catch, Only $13

Eating around town on just 13 bills.

A Potentially Deadly Catch, Only $13
The Casino, the Mayor's Son, and the Shuffle That May Have Suckered Them Both

The Casino, the Mayor’s Son, and the Shuffle That May Have Suckered Them Both

Once thought of as political operative material, Jacob Nickels was part of a nationwide casino-cheating ring, prosecutors say.

The Casino, the Mayor's Son, and the Shuffle That May Have Suckered Them Both
Amanuel buys direct: “Mom controls the quality.”

Best Importer of Incendiary Spices: East African Imports

Perhaps the smartest decision Berhane Amanuel made in his life was leaving his mother behind in Ethiopia when he emigrated in 1987. Now Amanuel's got… Continue reading

Amanuel buys direct: “Mom controls the quality.”