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Sign Language
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) There’s no excuse to sit on the couch eating bonbons, Piscesat least not this…
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Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)I’m too bored to write you a proper horoscope
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)I’m too bored to write you a proper horoscope this week. You’re just too damn…
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Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)What’s the secret of your success? Always living a
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)What’s the secret of your success? Always living a balanced, moderate lifestyle and being nice…
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Feb. 23-Mar. 1, 2005
Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) Your perception of time is dramatically different from almost everyone else’s. Perhaps you’re not…
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Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)You’d never guess that your friends and family have
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)You’d never guess that your friends and family have heard the bit about letting sleeping…
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Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)I recently got an e-mail from a desperate Sagittarian
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)I recently got an e-mail from a desperate Sagittarian pleading that I go easier on…
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Mar. 2-8, 2005
Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) You’ve entered a scary new chapter, one that’ll encompass more than half of the…
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Horoscope
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) You’re all about the destination lately, not the journey. If I asked you where…
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Gemini (May 21–June 20)Try watching TV with the sound turned off or
Gemini (May 21–June 20)Try watching TV with the sound turned off or watching people dance without being able…
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Cancer (June 21–July 22)This week’s theme: Cancer control issues. Unfortunately for your
Cancer (June 21–July 22)This week’s theme: Cancer control issues. Unfortunately for your clutching instinct, the big, juicy fish…
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Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)Don’t expect to understand the dramas unfolding around you
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)Don’t expect to understand the dramas unfolding around you this week. Luckily, you have my…
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Cancer (June 21–July 22)You water signs are nothing if not totally yourselves.
Cancer (June 21–July 22)You water signs are nothing if not totally yourselves. You get into the most trouble…
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April 28, 2003
Aries (March 21-April 19) Lakes of fire wouldn’t prevent you from rescuing someone you loved. I believe that;…